Do Your Good

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful, wondrous new day dawns! I absolutely love this time of day...there is so much hope, opportunity & promise. Every day is a new beginning, a blank page...it is so inspiring to me!

Yesterday as I was driving to work the thought, the realization, hit me that my level of influence is really rather narrow. There are people whose lives I may not be able to speak into. Those who will relate to me most, and therefore will allow me to speak into their lives with my thoughts, words & actions, are those who share some similarity with me. Those who share my faith, my values, my desire to be a better person, spouse, parent, etc. will find it easiest to relate to the things I think, say & do. This thought did not discourage me, nor do I say it this morning with the slightest bit of negativity attached to it. Rather it was a great reminder about my significance, relatively small, and yours, relatively large. The quote that captures the thought best is one of my all-time favorites from Mother Teresa:

 

“I can do things you cannot, you can do things I cannot; together we can do great things.”

Isn't it beautiful?! And so very, very true! Because of who I am, the experiences I have had, the life I have lived, there are things I can do, people I can speak to, lives I can touch that you cannot. Likewise, because of who YOU are, the experiences YOU have had, the life YOU have lived, there are things YOU can do, people YOU can speak to, lives that YOU can touch that I cannot. Individually we can do so little, together we can do so much. The question is will we?

It is really easy to get worn down by life. Does it really matter if I am nice to someone? We all have struggles, battles, challenges...will it really make any difference if I try to help someone? Does your influence, does my influence really make a difference? Have you ever read The Starfish Story? I want you to read it here and think of it in terms of all the starfish, uh people, you will encounter today:

Once upon a time, there was an old man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach every morning before he began his work. Early one morning, he was walking along the shore after a big storm had passed and found the vast beach littered with starfish as far as the eye could see, stretching in both directions. 

Off in the distance, the old man noticed a small boy approaching.  As the boy walked, he paused every so often and as he grew closer, the man could see that he was occasionally bending down to pick up an object and throw it into the sea.  The boy came closer still and the man called out, “Good morning!  May I ask what it is that you are doing?”

The young boy paused, looked up, and replied “Throwing starfish into the ocean. The tide has washed them up onto the beach and they can’t return to the sea by themselves,” the youth replied. “When the sun gets high, they will die, unless I throw them back into the water.”

The old man replied, “But there must be tens of thousands of starfish on this beach. I’m afraid you won’t really be able to make much of a difference.”

The boy bent down, picked up yet another starfish and threw it as far as he could into the ocean. Then he turned, smiled and said, “It made a difference to that one!”

adapted from The Star Thrower, by Loren Eiseley (1907 – 1977)

No Friends, you can't make a difference in all the lives you will encounter today. You can however focus on one life at a time and choose to be an intentional, positive influence in that life. While you might not be able to influence thousands or even hundreds, you can & will influence one life at a time today. You will choose to stroll down the beach and leave them to wither & die or you will be choose to help them any way you can. You are not responsible for what they choose to do, how they choose to live their life however you are completely responsible for the things you think, say & do. Please don't focus on what you cannot do, please do not focus on what you cannot control - other people, rather focus your time, talent & energy on the things you control - your thoughts, your words & your actions.

I want to close with another favorite quote, this one from the great Jackie Robinson:

 

"A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives."

How important will your life be today? How important will you choose to make your life today? I promise you today I will make my life important, I will make this day count. I make a commitment to you that today I will seek to serve others, to help them any way I can. Will you join me in this commitment? Just for today? While individually our impact is narrow, together it is huge! Let's get to work doing our good where we are today!

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families!

Kev

 

 

Anchor

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day and that an awesome week is coming to a close for you!

Baseball season is here! Gehrig had his first baseball games yesterday and thankfully, I was able to be there. I absolutely love watching my boys play sports...a true blessing!

This weeks Happy Friday is going to be directed more at men - husbands & fathers - as the leaders of our homes and will, I think, be rather succinct. While the message will be short, the ramifications will truly echo in eternity.

Last Sunday our Pastor preached a truly wonderful sermon - meaning it spoke to me heart! :) As he started he gave an example of mountain climbing. He stated that in mountain climbing more experienced climbers go first and place anchors directly into the mountain so those less experienced coming after them can safely follow. Then on the screen appeared an anchor, right into the side of a completely vertical rock. It was really quite powerful to see. When you look at something that is smooth, straight up & down you realize that there is absolutely no way that a human being could climb up that rock. Then you see this anchor, a round piece of metal securely fastened into the side of the rock. You then see how someone could clip their harness to that anchor and safely hang there - safe and secure, their full weight resting on the anchor that someone who had gone before them had left. The probability of an inexperienced climber making it up the side of the mountain by themselves is not very high. However because someone else had gone before them, because someone else had left anchors, the inexperienced climber can scale the wall, resting their full weight on each anchor along the way. It is really a beautiful picture - literally & metaphorically.

The Pastor then went on to talk about Jesus - He left a huge anchor...the anchor to enable us to reach Heaven!! - as well as some other Biblical men & women. The thought that kept pounding in my heart was, "What anchors are you leaving for your family?" I have thought of that conviction of my spirit literally hundreds of times this past week.

As the leaders of our homes, we are leaving anchors. The questions we need to answer are:
1. Where are they leading?
2. Is this really where we want our wives, sons and/or daughters to go?
3. Are we placing firm anchors - the kind where they can truly rest their full weight? Safely?
    Securely?

I can't tell you where your anchors should lead just as you can't tell me where mine should lead and  quiet honestly, that is not the point. The point is for you & I to realize we are setting anchors and to thoughtfully consider where they are leading. Take some time, reflect on the path you are leading and determine the course from this point forward. While we can't undo the anchors we have already set as we are clinging to the side of this rock wall of life, we can thoughtfully, methodically plan the next anchor...and then the next...and then the next. I don't know about you however when I think of the leadership of my home, when I think of the anchors that I am setting for my Beautiful Bride & Tender Warriors it inspires me and I recognize & feel the full weight of the responsibility of setting the anchors well.

The thought/challenge this week is "What anchors are you leaving?'

I want to close with a powerful excerpt from the book Act Like Men: 40 Days To Biblical Manhood by James Mac Donald:

Nothing is more important than your family. Nothing comes before your responsibility to watch out for them and provide a home safe from any assault upon them, body or soul. The television programs watched in your home are your responsibility. Every site visited by a computer or a smartphone in your house is on you. Keep watch! Who your kids' friends are, where they go when they are away from you is your responsibility. You're the watchman! How conflict is resolved, how Christ is prioritized, where the Word of God is positioned - all of it is entirely yours to oversee and you will answer to God for the job you did.

 

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you. I will always help you any way I can.

 

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish those precious families!

 

Kev

You Are Not Disqualified

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day as a beautiful new day is about to dawn!

This is my 1st Happy Friday from our new home...Yes! We are so very, very blessed! The move went great - moving 4 times in 4 years gives one far to much practice! - and we are well on our way to making this house, a structure, our home. We have already christened it with our first nice dinner and a great family nerf gun fight. Yes Friends, we are truly blessed beyond measure.

On my heart this morning, I can't really tell you why...it has just been gnawing at my heart for the last few days, is a very simple thought with difficult application; you and I are not disqualified. No matter who you are or where you are (physically, mentally, spiritually), no matter what you or have not done, you are not disqualified. Your life has great value, meaning & purpose and God will use you if, and the IF is huge, you will allow Him.

Have you ever intended to do one thing and then did another? Yeah, me too. Crazy isn't it? I will give you a personal example that drives the point home clearly, almost comically. I was bound and determined that this move was going to be "a good thing." I had prayed about it, talked to my Beautiful Bride and Tender Warriors about it...this move is going to be great, we are going to have great attitudes...it is going to be awesome. So it is last Thursday and we are going to close on the house. I have taken the afternoon off from work, we are going to go close on the house and then begin the move. The moving truck is rented, we have a game plan and this is going to be great. About 9:00 a.m. that morning I get a text from Kath that there was a little snag with some of the paperwork and we might not be able to get the keys until 5:00 p.m. There are multiple other communications over the next few hours - we will get the keys, we won't, we may not get the keys until the next day, etc. By the time I leave the office at 12:00 p.m. to head to the closing I have gone from positive, encouraging to negative, frustrated. This has all been planned for a month. I have taken vacation time from work, I organized business travel around this move and now someone typed an email address wrong on paperwork and this prevents us from closing and moving into our house?!?! I recognize that I am not in a good place so I decide I better listen to Christian radio as I drive to the closing...and pray a lot. I wouldn't say I got to a great place by the time I should have arrived - notice the "should have" - however at least I hadn't gotten worse. Then...I got lost on the way to the closing. This led to a phone call with my Girl where I was less than a great man or husband...actually, I was pitiful. I am now very frustrated & agitated...I have gone from happy, positive & encouraging to this pathetic state in 4 hours! So I park my car, get out and our realtor walks out the door. Me, the guy who has told everyone how great this move is going to be, the guy who has prayed this up, doesn't say "hi" or "good afternoon" or any other kind, positive or encouraging word. No, I look right at him and say, "who is responsible for this?!" And in an instant, I realize I have failed in this moment. I have allowed circumstances, things completely beyond my control, to determine my attitude, the influence I would have on others.

Have you ever had a season or a moment like that? The reality is we all do. Let me say that again Friends and let these words settle deep into your heart & spirit; WE ALL DO. We all have failing moments however this does not mean you are disqualified.

Many times when I have been asked to give a motivational speech or to preach a sermon at a church I have felt completely unqualified. How can I, a man who has failing moments like the one listed above, stand in front of others and offer encouragement, inspiration, share the word of God? I feel, I am, so inadequate. Interestingly as I have read books, listened to other speakers, etc. I have found I am not alone. What I have actually found is that I would be alone if I didn't have these moments. We are all flawed, broken people and as such, we are going to have flawed, broken moments. This however does not define you or I, the Lord does that. I have read & heard numerous leaders whom I consider to be great, Godly men & women share stories similar to mine. One woman, who has a written many books and has a wonderful ministry, has shared stories about huge meltdowns in her home as she is getting ready to go to speaking engagements. I have heard a man who serves in marriage ministries talk about having huge arguments with his wife as they traveled to the very marriage conferences where they are going to talk to other couples about what a Godly marriage looks like. The funny thing about that story was when he said it the other men on the radio with him, who also serve in the ministry with him, stated they experience the same thing. Not one of them talked about this perfect, pristine life, marriage or relationship that qualified them to speak at these conferences.

A few thoughts:

• We all have failing moments & seasons in life. These do not define or disqualify you.
• You are not alone. We are all so good at hiding "stuff." The reality is you would be alone if you were perfect, had it all figured out, never made a mistake, etc.
• Get over yourself & your mistake. Don't get caught in the trap of beating yourself up mercilessly over your latest - it won't be the last - mistake. Recognize it, take personal responsibility for it, apologize if you have hurt or offended others, determine what you can do differently next time to prevent it and move on. If you do not do these things you can wind up in a vicious cycle of regret that can last years or tragically, even a lifetime.
• Never give up. There will be detractors, perhaps none greater than in your own head. A moment or season does not define you. Until you have taken your last breath it is not over and you can choose how you will behave and respond - not react - in the next moment. Keep fighting for you - the man, woman, husband, wife, Dad, Mom that God has created you to be!
• God will use your life if you will allow Him. It isn't about your latest blow up, fit or struggle. It is what God wants to do in others lives through you. It is God that touches the heart of others, not you. He may use your words or actions as a way to communicate to others however please keep in perspective what is happening. It is not about you, it is about God. If He puts you in a position to influence others, He will use that time as He wants, regardless of you.
• I would strongly encourage you to seek God's leadership, guidance & direction for your life. Life is a struggle, a battle, one that you & I will surely lose if we live in our own knowledge, wisdom, strength & courage. Walk in God's love, mercy & grace. He created each one of us on purpose for a purpose. Find rest, leadership, guidance & direction in Him Friends.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend & please cherish your precious families.

Kev