Happy Friday Friends!
I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day as a beautiful Saturday morning dawns! It is going to be an incredible day for the Haslam's - Landry's soccer game this morning and a massive Crawfish Boil this afternoon & evening. As my Beautiful Bride loves to say, "Texas Livin'!"
I am going to keep this Happy Friday real. Most days I sit down to write Happy Friday my Spirit is soaring, my thoughts are clear and I know exactly the words I want to share with you. This is not the case this morning, not even close. I am o.k. with that, just keepin it real. Sometimes we don't understand things, life gets confusing and hard. I do however feel compelled to write, to share some thoughts - no matter how jumbled they may be. Please give me grace. God will take care of the rest.
This week I took a business trip to Colorado. After landing I drove to the restaurant where I had my first meeting. As I was sitting there waiting for the person I was meeting with to show up Kath called me. She was calling to let me know that a friend of ours had suddenly, unexpectedly passed away...she was 32 years old. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. All I could say over and over again was "Wow." I was stunned, shocked & my heart hurt. We weren't "best friends" however she and her husband are people that Kath & I went to church with, who we were privileged to do life with. In fact, her husband is the one who designed the logo for "What Will Your Influence Be...?"
After my meeting was over I had a text message with all of her husbands contact information. My Sweet Girl encouraged me to text him however my Spirit encouraged me to call him. The moment I heard his voice tears began to well up in my eyes. As I began to speak my voice cracked. I, the one who was calling to offer encouragement, instantly became aware of my complete inadequacy. What do you say to a man whose wife just passed away? How do you say anything that will somehow make any of it better? What do I have to offer to anyone at a moment like this? The reality is there are no words, I am completely inadequate. I simply told him I am sorry, I love him and told him I would do absolutely anything I can for him.
The nagging ache in my heart would not go away...still hasn't. I tried to type him a message 7 or 8 times Monday night however I could find no words. Kath & I talked about faith & loss. I didn't want to be away from my wife & boys...I wanted to fly right back home, wrap them in my arms and just hold them. I woke up several times throughout the night on Monday and simply prayed for Bobby and his family. I have prayed for Bobby, their precious little girl and their entire family every day, several times a day. Bobby and I have exchanged several text messages. I am mindful of my struggles, of my inadequacy however I am also mindful that this is not about me. While I may not be much or worth much at this moment, I do care and I can be there.
I would like to pause for a moment and honor this wonderful woman, Crystal. Crystal was a very pretty young lady with a Spirit that simply shined...if you ever met a person like her you know exactly what I am talking about. Crystal would see you, smile, begin talking to you and suddenly you were smiling without even knowing why. She was so vibrant, so alive and she genuinely loved and cared about everyone that crossed her path. Crystal was a Christian, she loved the Lord, she loved her husband, she loved her precious baby girl and she loved on everyone who was blessed to cross her path. It is so absolutely perfect that she is honored with the phrase, "Shine Bright." This is exactly what she did, every day. The world would be a little dimmer today with her passing except for the fact that a little piece of her bright light shines in each person she selflessly poured herself into. Today she walks on streets of gold, another beautiful angel that has successfully completed her earthly journey and now lives in Heaven for eternity.
There are several thoughts I want to share with you:
1. Shortly after speaking with Bobby on Monday, Payton called me. I told him about Crystal, we talked about she & Bobby, what special people they are, how horrible we felt, etc. I then told him about my phone call to Bobby, how I felt so inadequate. God then spoke to Payton through me as I said, "Please remember son, it is not about you. It is about the person that is hurting. It doesn't matter to Bobby what I said, it simply matters that I called." I hope my son learns this lesson, that he will be there for others, regardless of how he feels.
2. Guess what? Sometimes we are completely inadequate and that is o.k. I think sometimes we get so caught up in having to have the right answers, being able to say the right things, etc., that when we don't have them we do nothing. Well sometimes there are no right answers or words to say. Sometimes we don't understand things, they hurt, etc. Regardless, we can always care and we can always be there. Let us not miss the opportunity to keep it real and be there for others!
3. I am not going to lie...I don't understand this at all. I don't understand why a 32-year old woman is suddenly called Home. It makes no sense to me at all and my heart breaks for Bobby and their baby girl. I do know this though, I believe to the depths of my soul that God is in control and that He will lead, guide & comfort us though all seems so very dark at the moment. In so many ways this is the epitome of faith...being completely blind/unsure however trusting fully in God.
4. I want to ask you a favor - please love on those you are privileged to do life with and let them know how much you value & appreciate them. In one of his texts to me Bobby said, "I was thinking about influence yesterday and I realized just how many peoples lives that Crystal had an effect on. I was blown away." How come we wait until someone is gone before we communicate how much they mean to us? What would this world look like if we would pause, just for a moment, and let another person know how much we appreciate them, the things they say & do? We are all busy, we are all striving...for something. Let's encourage one another on a daily basis. We don't hesitate to tell someone when we think they have done something wrong or offended us. What if we flipped the whole equation? What if we were quicker with the praise and slower with the criticism? I am pretty sure our world would look a whole lot different.
5. Finally, I would like to respectfully ask you to say a prayer for Bobby, their daughter and their family. It doesn't matter if you don't know them, God does. Thank you.
Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.
Kev
Saturday, April 9, 2016
Friday, March 18, 2016
It's An Honor To Be A Dad
Happy Friday Friends!
I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day on this beautiful Friday morning!
My heart is so full this morning. I am blessed beyond measure and I am completely aware of this fact. This morning I am going to briefly share something that happened in my life two weeks ago and then I am going to share a couple of short stories, a quote and the link to a music video. The simple point I want to drive home this morning is that it truly is an honor to be a Dad.
Two weeks ago tomorrow my 10-year old Tender Warrior, Landry, and I went to the Houston Rodeo - just he and I. We got to the rodeo and walked through all of the exhibits. Right away we bought him a cowboy hat and then, a little later, one for me too so we could have matching cowboy hats. I let him decide where we would go, what we would look at, how long we would stay, etc. He petted and fed hay to the cows that were a part of the livestock show - the look on his face was priceless as one licked his arm, its entire tongue wrapping around his arm.
For lunch he had a sausage on a stick and I had a barbeque sandwich. We stood and talked about the rodeo, what else we wanted to do, etc. as we ate. We shared a sweet tea, enjoyed our conversation, neither of us in a hurry.
We were then off to the rodeo. We had great seats and thoroughly enjoyed each event. We cheered for all the cowboys & cowgirls and gasped as one cowboy was nearly kicked in the head by a horse. Mutton Bustin' (little boys & girls riding on the backs of sheep) brought great laughs.
After the rodeo it was Cole Swindell live in concert. We sang - thankfully it was so loud nobody could hear our voices! - and cheered for Cole. He gained two new fans that night.
After the concert we headed back to the exhibit hall so Landry could make his own rope. It was really neat how they did it - he got to choose the three strands and then he & I stood some distance apart spinning the wheels they had to intertwine the strands to form the rope.
By the time we left we had been at the rodeo for nearly 10 hours. Neither one of us felt tired. We talked and talked all the way home, replaying the events of the day together. He must of told me 100 times that night, as well as the next day, how much he enjoyed our time at the rodeo, how grateful he truly was for our time together. I told him I felt the same. The thing that struck me, over & over again, was that he always said, "I enjoyed my time with you." It was the time that he valued & treasured, not the hat, the food, the rope, etc. It was the time. I was keenly aware of the words he was speaking into the deep recesses of my heart and I felt the profound honor of being his Dad.
Dads matter...greatly! Somewhere along the line it sadly became ok, and even funny, to minimize the impact a Dad can have in the life of a child. Many men, perhaps fearing failure, never even try to embrace this sacred privilege. I think a large part of it is really a defense mechanism - if we have no expectations, there can be no disappointments, or so the reasoning goes. This however does not change a few simple facts:
1. It is an honor to be a Dad.
2. Dad's are critically important in the lives of their children.
3. Whether "good" or "bad," Dad's have a profound impact on the lives of their children.
I want to share two short stories, one quote and the link to a video of a song. Please humor me - read the short stories, the quote and go watch the YouTube video.
And here is the link to the video, You Should Be Here, by Cole Swindell https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8WlCqZPTeg
You see Friends, it is about presence. If you have the honor of being a Dad know this, your kids want you.
Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always help you any way I can. You can contact me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.
Kev
I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day on this beautiful Friday morning!
My heart is so full this morning. I am blessed beyond measure and I am completely aware of this fact. This morning I am going to briefly share something that happened in my life two weeks ago and then I am going to share a couple of short stories, a quote and the link to a music video. The simple point I want to drive home this morning is that it truly is an honor to be a Dad.
Two weeks ago tomorrow my 10-year old Tender Warrior, Landry, and I went to the Houston Rodeo - just he and I. We got to the rodeo and walked through all of the exhibits. Right away we bought him a cowboy hat and then, a little later, one for me too so we could have matching cowboy hats. I let him decide where we would go, what we would look at, how long we would stay, etc. He petted and fed hay to the cows that were a part of the livestock show - the look on his face was priceless as one licked his arm, its entire tongue wrapping around his arm.
For lunch he had a sausage on a stick and I had a barbeque sandwich. We stood and talked about the rodeo, what else we wanted to do, etc. as we ate. We shared a sweet tea, enjoyed our conversation, neither of us in a hurry.
We were then off to the rodeo. We had great seats and thoroughly enjoyed each event. We cheered for all the cowboys & cowgirls and gasped as one cowboy was nearly kicked in the head by a horse. Mutton Bustin' (little boys & girls riding on the backs of sheep) brought great laughs.
After the rodeo it was Cole Swindell live in concert. We sang - thankfully it was so loud nobody could hear our voices! - and cheered for Cole. He gained two new fans that night.
After the concert we headed back to the exhibit hall so Landry could make his own rope. It was really neat how they did it - he got to choose the three strands and then he & I stood some distance apart spinning the wheels they had to intertwine the strands to form the rope.
By the time we left we had been at the rodeo for nearly 10 hours. Neither one of us felt tired. We talked and talked all the way home, replaying the events of the day together. He must of told me 100 times that night, as well as the next day, how much he enjoyed our time at the rodeo, how grateful he truly was for our time together. I told him I felt the same. The thing that struck me, over & over again, was that he always said, "I enjoyed my time with you." It was the time that he valued & treasured, not the hat, the food, the rope, etc. It was the time. I was keenly aware of the words he was speaking into the deep recesses of my heart and I felt the profound honor of being his Dad.
Dads matter...greatly! Somewhere along the line it sadly became ok, and even funny, to minimize the impact a Dad can have in the life of a child. Many men, perhaps fearing failure, never even try to embrace this sacred privilege. I think a large part of it is really a defense mechanism - if we have no expectations, there can be no disappointments, or so the reasoning goes. This however does not change a few simple facts:
1. It is an honor to be a Dad.
2. Dad's are critically important in the lives of their children.
3. Whether "good" or "bad," Dad's have a profound impact on the lives of their children.
I want to share two short stories, one quote and the link to a video of a song. Please humor me - read the short stories, the quote and go watch the YouTube video.
Charles Francis Adams, the 19th century political figure and diplomat, kept a diary. One day he entered: "Went fishing with my son today--a day wasted." His son, Brook Adams, also kept a diary, which is still in existence. On that same day, Brook Adams made this entry: "Went fishing with my father--the most wonderful day of my life!" The father thought he was wasting his time while fishing with his son, but his son saw it as an investment of time. The only way to tell the difference between wasting and investing is to know one's ultimate purpose in life and to judge accordingly.
Silas Shotwell, in Homemade, September, 1987
There's a Spanish story of a father and son who had become estranged. The son ran away, and the father set off to find him. He searched for months to no avail. Finally, in a last desperate effort to find him, the father put an ad in a Madrid newspaper. The ad read: Dear Paco, meet me in front of this newspaper office at noon on Saturday. All is forgiven. I love you. Your Father. On Saturday 800 Pacos showed up, looking for forgiveness and love from their fathers.
Bits & Pieces, October 15, 1992, p. 13.
"My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me." - Jim Valvano
And here is the link to the video, You Should Be Here, by Cole Swindell https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8WlCqZPTeg
You see Friends, it is about presence. If you have the honor of being a Dad know this, your kids want you.
Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always help you any way I can. You can contact me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.
Kev
Saturday, March 5, 2016
Who Is It?
Happy Friday Friends!
I hope & trust this email finds you all having a great day on this absolutely beautiful Saturday morning.
A couple of things on my heart I want to share with you this morning:
1. So yesterday my Beautiful Bride and I celebrated our 27th wedding anniversary. We have known each other since she was 15 and I was 16-years old and together, KNK, since she was 16 and I was 17-years old. It is overwhelming to think of how richly God has blessed my life with her, how richly He has blessed our life together and how grateful I am, to the depths of my soul, for each and every one of these blessings.
You know, life is funny. When we were dating and then married at a very young age, I thought I had all the answers, that I had it all figured out. I was so clueless!!! I had no idea the incredible responsibility that came with the honor & privilege of being a husband...this must be why God gave me the sweetest, gentlest, kindest spirit I have ever met to be my girl. She intentionally overlooked by numerous faults & failures and instead continued to shine her bright light on the greatness she saw in me. Over time she & God helped me understand, and then inspired me, to strive for this greatness. It has not been a smooth, flat highway...think zig zagging through a cornfield on a 35% grade - that is what my path looks like.
In our life together we have experienced great highs and debilitating lows. We have experienced the great joy of welcoming 3 beautiful babies into this world and the great sorrow of losing one before it entered it. We have been blessed by having so many incredible friends come into our lives, people that we are privileged to do life with to this day, and we have been hurt by some folks whose intentions were less than pure. We have had the privilege of serving coaches, student-athletes, people from all walks of life - to encourage, empower & equip them to be the very best they are capable of becoming. We have celebrated their successes with them and shared in the sorrows. We have been blessed to swim together in the Pacific, Atlantic & Gulf Coast oceans, to be in most every small college football stadium in the Western United States, to be in some pretty big one's too - Sun Devil Stadium, Sanford Stadium at the University of Georgia (a childhood dream of mine fulfilled) and the Metrodome in Minneapolis (the sight of one of my greatest professional disappointments - we lost the game, and missed out on the playoffs, by 16 seconds). We were together when we said our last goodbye's to my Mom & Dad. We have lived in New Mexico, Nebraska, Arizona, Kansas, Illinois & Texas. There are great friends, great memories, in each place.
The thing is, we have always been together. I once heard it said about the great former basketball coach at the University of Arizona (as a Sun Devil that was painful to type!), Lute Olson that when his wife Bobbi was with him he was completely different - calm, relaxed, confident. I totally get that! When Kathy is with me, no matter the situation or circumstance, everything is going to be just fine. And while I am talking mostly of physical presence here, as we have gotten older we both recognize the mental, emotional, spiritual connection as well. When we are on the same page, we can handle anything...with God's help. Still, 3 of the greatest feelings in the world are, 1) her soft kiss on my cheek and feeling her breath on my face as I fall asleep, 2) her gently touching the inside of my arm as we are walking through a store and 3) her sliding her hand into mine as we walk anywhere.
People often say "you guys are so lucky. You are perfect for each other." I would say yes & no. I do truly believe that God gave us to one another. If I truly believe this then I must also believe that he didn't bring us together to tear us apart. In that sense, yes, we are perfect for each other. The no part however is the part where folks assume that we just found each other and life was great...not even a fraction of that misguided belief is true. There have been many intentional decisions on both our parts to stop fighting against each other and to fight for each other...and there has been a lot of fighting! :) When we were young, and I was stupid, I would say something like, "well maybe we should just get divorced." It wasn't until God enlightened me to how stupid that comment was for me to make, until I realized the great damage it was doing every time I made it and until I made the determination in my heart and then verbalized it to Kathy that I didn't care what happened in this life, I was not going to stop fighting for her, our marriage and our family until I breathe my last breath that things really started to change. She can be mad at me, not like me, I don't care. I will not stop fighting for her, for our marriage, our family! I won't! She may not be perfect to you however God entrusted me with her! I am, one day, going to have to stand before Him and give an account for how I loved her. I am not perfect, or even close. And I don't think God or Kath expect me to be. I can honestly say that I do seek God every day, I pray every day that He will lead me, that He will lead my Beautiful Bride through me and then I strive every day to do the very best I can. It doesn't just happen, it is an intentional choice, and a profound commitment.
As always is the case when I think & talk about this beautiful woman, I got all fired up and lost in the moment. Sorry, this isn't even what this Happy Friday was going to be about! I say all this to say:
Happy Anniversary Kathy! I love, value, cherish & adore you. You bless my life so richly and I am so very grateful for you!
2. Earlier this week I saw a simple little quote that struck me profoundly:
Isn't that so simple? Isn't it so true? Every day you and I are going to encounter someone that we can encourage. They might be in our own home, they might be in the store or we might pass them on the street. The thing is, the opportunity IS going to be there. The only thing we have to decide is if we will take the opportunity. Clearly, this is my hope & challenge for us today - whoever they are, wherever they are, WHEN we are given the opportunity to encourage another today we will take it.
Please don't hesitate to contact me at any time if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.
Kev
I hope & trust this email finds you all having a great day on this absolutely beautiful Saturday morning.
A couple of things on my heart I want to share with you this morning:
1. So yesterday my Beautiful Bride and I celebrated our 27th wedding anniversary. We have known each other since she was 15 and I was 16-years old and together, KNK, since she was 16 and I was 17-years old. It is overwhelming to think of how richly God has blessed my life with her, how richly He has blessed our life together and how grateful I am, to the depths of my soul, for each and every one of these blessings.
You know, life is funny. When we were dating and then married at a very young age, I thought I had all the answers, that I had it all figured out. I was so clueless!!! I had no idea the incredible responsibility that came with the honor & privilege of being a husband...this must be why God gave me the sweetest, gentlest, kindest spirit I have ever met to be my girl. She intentionally overlooked by numerous faults & failures and instead continued to shine her bright light on the greatness she saw in me. Over time she & God helped me understand, and then inspired me, to strive for this greatness. It has not been a smooth, flat highway...think zig zagging through a cornfield on a 35% grade - that is what my path looks like.
In our life together we have experienced great highs and debilitating lows. We have experienced the great joy of welcoming 3 beautiful babies into this world and the great sorrow of losing one before it entered it. We have been blessed by having so many incredible friends come into our lives, people that we are privileged to do life with to this day, and we have been hurt by some folks whose intentions were less than pure. We have had the privilege of serving coaches, student-athletes, people from all walks of life - to encourage, empower & equip them to be the very best they are capable of becoming. We have celebrated their successes with them and shared in the sorrows. We have been blessed to swim together in the Pacific, Atlantic & Gulf Coast oceans, to be in most every small college football stadium in the Western United States, to be in some pretty big one's too - Sun Devil Stadium, Sanford Stadium at the University of Georgia (a childhood dream of mine fulfilled) and the Metrodome in Minneapolis (the sight of one of my greatest professional disappointments - we lost the game, and missed out on the playoffs, by 16 seconds). We were together when we said our last goodbye's to my Mom & Dad. We have lived in New Mexico, Nebraska, Arizona, Kansas, Illinois & Texas. There are great friends, great memories, in each place.
The thing is, we have always been together. I once heard it said about the great former basketball coach at the University of Arizona (as a Sun Devil that was painful to type!), Lute Olson that when his wife Bobbi was with him he was completely different - calm, relaxed, confident. I totally get that! When Kathy is with me, no matter the situation or circumstance, everything is going to be just fine. And while I am talking mostly of physical presence here, as we have gotten older we both recognize the mental, emotional, spiritual connection as well. When we are on the same page, we can handle anything...with God's help. Still, 3 of the greatest feelings in the world are, 1) her soft kiss on my cheek and feeling her breath on my face as I fall asleep, 2) her gently touching the inside of my arm as we are walking through a store and 3) her sliding her hand into mine as we walk anywhere.
People often say "you guys are so lucky. You are perfect for each other." I would say yes & no. I do truly believe that God gave us to one another. If I truly believe this then I must also believe that he didn't bring us together to tear us apart. In that sense, yes, we are perfect for each other. The no part however is the part where folks assume that we just found each other and life was great...not even a fraction of that misguided belief is true. There have been many intentional decisions on both our parts to stop fighting against each other and to fight for each other...and there has been a lot of fighting! :) When we were young, and I was stupid, I would say something like, "well maybe we should just get divorced." It wasn't until God enlightened me to how stupid that comment was for me to make, until I realized the great damage it was doing every time I made it and until I made the determination in my heart and then verbalized it to Kathy that I didn't care what happened in this life, I was not going to stop fighting for her, our marriage and our family until I breathe my last breath that things really started to change. She can be mad at me, not like me, I don't care. I will not stop fighting for her, for our marriage, our family! I won't! She may not be perfect to you however God entrusted me with her! I am, one day, going to have to stand before Him and give an account for how I loved her. I am not perfect, or even close. And I don't think God or Kath expect me to be. I can honestly say that I do seek God every day, I pray every day that He will lead me, that He will lead my Beautiful Bride through me and then I strive every day to do the very best I can. It doesn't just happen, it is an intentional choice, and a profound commitment.
As always is the case when I think & talk about this beautiful woman, I got all fired up and lost in the moment. Sorry, this isn't even what this Happy Friday was going to be about! I say all this to say:
Happy Anniversary Kathy! I love, value, cherish & adore you. You bless my life so richly and I am so very grateful for you!
2. Earlier this week I saw a simple little quote that struck me profoundly:
"Every day you have the opportunity to encourage someone." - Unknown
Isn't that so simple? Isn't it so true? Every day you and I are going to encounter someone that we can encourage. They might be in our own home, they might be in the store or we might pass them on the street. The thing is, the opportunity IS going to be there. The only thing we have to decide is if we will take the opportunity. Clearly, this is my hope & challenge for us today - whoever they are, wherever they are, WHEN we are given the opportunity to encourage another today we will take it.
Please don't hesitate to contact me at any time if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.
Kev
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