Happy Friday, Friends!
I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama!
If I asked you, “Who should you call to just say hello to?”, who would it be? Please call them today. If I asked you, “Who should you thank or let them know how much you appreciate them?”, who comes to mind? You know the drill, please do it!
Last weekend I spent a lot of time driving. During that drive, I found myself thinking of friends who have meant a lot to me over the years, which prompted me to call them. One friend I had not actually spoken to in more than 1 ½ years. Here is the thing: yes, the call blessed them; however, I can testify that it blessed me more! Life is short, Friends. Let’s not miss the opportunities to just say “hi,” let someone know we are thinking about them, or to say thank you, I appreciate you, etc. Please, do it!
And one more thing, if they don’t answer, that is o.k. I left a couple of voicemails to let them know I was thinking about them, and I told them they didn't have to call me back. But here is the thing, they’ll know you were thinking about them. There is not a much better gift you could give someone.
I want to pivot to something, to a sermon that I listened to on Wednesday, and have literally shared with everyone that I care about…only makes sense that I would share it with you all this morning. The sermon is titled "Keep Strife Out Of Your Life" by Joel Osteen. You can watch the podcast by typing in the name and Pastor Osteen – and I would strongly encourage you to do so!!! As I said to my family when I shared it with them, “Why should you care?” Mark 3:25 A home filled with strife and division destroys itself.
Now, I am going to share some excerpts from the transcript of the sermon – this does not excuse you from listening to or watching the sermon! I got the transcripts at Sermons.love.
“ One of the biggest challenges we all face is getting along with people, because everyone is different. We have different personalities, different temperaments, we come from different backgrounds, and when somebody doesn't agree with us, or they do something we don't like, it's easy to get in conflict with them, and argue, and try to straighten them out, prove our point.”
“ Strife is a spirit just like peace is a spirit. You've walked into a place before, you don't know anybody, you've never been there, but you can feel the tension in the room. In the atmosphere, there's stress, discord.”
“Well, when we let our guard down and say things that are hurtful, that's not only damaging the relationship, that's opening the door to strife. That's inviting that destructive spirit into our life. That's why the scripture says give no place to the enemy.”
“Strife can't just come in when it wants, bring division, disharmony, tear relationships apart. We have to open the door, and I'm not saying that we should never have an argument, never say a wrong word. That's not reality. But when it comes a part of who we are, it becomes common, we're constantly arguing, fighting, being disrespectful, that Jesus said in Mark chapter 3, "
“Well, you say, "Joel, my co-worker wouldn't be disrespectful to me. I wouldn't argue if my spouse wouldn't push my buttons. That's why we fight all the time". No, you have to be the bigger person. Just because somebody is doing wrong doesn't mean that's the spirit of strife baiting you, saying, "Come on, let me in. Argue, fight, be disrespectful". Don't take the bait. It takes a mature person to overlook an offense and say, "No, I'm not taking that bait. I'm staying in peace". It takes maturity to apologize even when it wasn't your fault.”
“If you're going to keep strife out, you have to get good at walking away when everything in you says to let them have it. There will be times when you know you're right, the other person is being disrespectful, they're not telling the truth. But for the sake of peace, you let it go. Jesus said, "Blessed are the peacemakers". He didn't say, "Blessed are the people who are right". Sometimes you have to let the other person think they're right even when you know they're wrong. We think, "Well, if I'm right, I'm not going to back down. I'm going to prove to them that I'm right. I'm going to win this battle".
“I've learned if you'll let God do it his way, he'll change what needs to be changed. God is the potter. We can't change people, only God can. These are tests that we must pass. Will you stay on the high road and bite your tongue, even when you feel like telling somebody off? Will you put your ego down and let somebody else be right, even when you know they're wrong?”
“The most mature person is the one that walks away from the argument. The most mature person is not always the one that's right, you know what arguing and having to be right really boils down to? Pride. "I'm not going to let them get the best of me". You have to put your ego down and say, "I'd rather have peace in my life. I would rather have the ten times blessing than just being right".
“Now, don't sit here and think, "Boy, I wish my husband would have come today. He really needs this". No, God has the right people here. Don't ask how God can change somebody else. Look inside and say, "God, how can I change? How can I get along better with people"? Or maybe, "God, what am I doing that's keeping my spouse and I from that ten times blessing? What am I doing that's going to make it harder on my children, passing down things that are going to hold them back"? What we're modeling in our homes is the way our children are going to treat people they get in relationship with.”
“Mothers, if you want your son to have a healthy, loving relationship with his wife, then you have to sow a seed by treating your husband in a loving, healthy way. Fathers, if you want your daughter to be treated with respect and honor like the queen that she is, then make sure you're treating your wife like the queen that she is, with respect and honor. That means not saying everything you feel like saying, not pushing the buttons, not allowing the spirit of strife in your home. If you don't do it for your children, do it to make it easier on those that come after you.”
“You have to learn this principle to rise above it and keep strife out of your home. You can be the difference-maker. When you honor your spouse, when you treat them with respect even when they don't deserve it, that's what causes them to come up higher, not arguing, being disrespectful, pushing them down. It's like you're pouring water into a jar with a small cork in it. The more water you pour, the higher that cork will rise. Your spouse is the cork. Your honor is the water. The more honor you pour in, the higher your spouse will rise.”
Jesus said, "A house divided is continually being brought to destruction and will not stand". When we allow strife in our life, something is happening. We're continually going down, our relationships, our dreams, our attitudes, our energy. You will make better decisions if you'll get rid of the discord. You will be more creative, more productive, more successful if you'll take these steps to keep peace in your home. Where there's unity, God's blessing, his favor, his anointing is on your life, your marriage, your career, your finances.
There is power in agreement. There's power when you rise up and say, "I'm going to do everything I can to keep unity in my home. My spouse may be argumentative, my children may be hard to get along with, but as for me, I'm going to be a peacemaker". Let me tell you, one peacemaker is more powerful than a dozen troublemakers. Have such an anointing on it, it will break the forces that are trying to tear your family apart.
“We have enough battles to fight in life where we don't have a choice. Don't make it harder on yourself by opening the door to trouble. Matthew 5 in the amplified says, "Blessed are the makers and maintainers of peace". We know what it means to make peace. We make up after an argument. We apologize, forgive, move forward, that's important. But we need to be more aware about maintaining our peace. That means you stay on the high road, you bite your tongue, you let things go, I've found it's much easier to maintain your peace than to have to always try to make peace.”
“Proverbs 20 says, "Avoiding a fight is a Mark of honor". Sometimes we think winning a fight is a mark of honor. We come back after an argument, give ourselves a high five, and think, "Boy, I let them have it. I showed her who was boss". That's not really winning. You fed your ego, you made yourself feel good, but it didn't strengthen the relationship. You may have won in one sense, but what did it cost you? How much damage was done? When we say hurtful words, when we're disrespectful, the way to really win is to avoid it, to stay on the high road, to walk away. That's a mark of honor. This takes humility.”
“Pride will tell you, "Have the last word. Stay at it, let them have it". That verse goes on to say, "Only a fool loves to argue," and instead of thinking about how you can win the argument, strategizing what you're going to say, spend that same time thinking about how you're going to avoid the argument, and I'm not saying to not address issues, but there's a right way and there's a right time. You should do it calmly, express your concerns, and then leave it there.”
“If it starts to get heated, disrespectful, that's the time to walk away. If you'll do it God's way, he'll fight your battles. He'll make the necessary changes. Plus, we need to ask ourselves, what am I arguing over? Is it worth it? Sometimes we argue over petty things that, in the big picture, they don't really matter.”
“Friends, life is too short to live that way. Where there's disharmony, you're weakened. You won't reach your highest potential, and I'm asking you today to be a maker and a maintainer of peace. Do what you can to keep the atmosphere in your home loving, friendly, kind. Be a person of honor and avoid the fight.”
After our Men’s Group at church listened to this message – I told you I shared it with everyone I care about! – one of the men shared this quote:
“Immature people always have to win an argument, even at the cost of a relationship. Mature people understand that it’s always better to lose arguments and win a relationship.” – Unknown
Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious family, and please stay well!
Kev
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