Civility, Critical Thinking & Normal Expectations

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day and a great week coming to a close for you. Anybody else suffering getting back into the routine after the holidays?!?!

I have a few different things I would like to share with you on this beautiful day.

• Last Sunday, January 1, 2012, there was a newspaper article in the Arizona Republic by Shaun McKinnon titled, "After tragedy, civility still elusive." The article talks about our civility, or lack there of, as a society as we close in on one year since the shooting of Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and several others in Tucson. Some quotes from the article really jumped out at me. I wanted to share them with you and allow them to speak to your heart as they will.
• "Yet one year later, Americans and their elected leaders struggle to show each other respect when opinions differ."
• "Surveys suggest that Americans recognize the lack of civility and want their leaders to behave better but experts say that until people exercise civility themselves and demand it from their representatives, little will change."
• The article then gave these examples of when civility was not shown [I have intentionally removed the political affiliations and names of those involved. This isn't about politics...it's about civility]:
• A Representative yelled, "You lie!"
• A leader [I struggle typing that...this civility thing isn't easy!] walked out of the chamber rather than allow a low member of the other party to speak.
• At town-hall meetings, voters booed lawmakers and shouted down fellow citizens who tried to express differing viewpoints.
• "It's a shame we're reaching that place," said Dahnke. "If we can't talk to one another, we can't do anything else. Being able to maintain civility is critical to problem-solving at any level, whether it's a local school board or international diplomacy. If you cannot talk to one another, you can't solve a problem." Cassandra Dahnke is co-founder of the Houston-based Institute for Civility in Government.
• "Any movement toward more civil politics [how about a more civil way of life?!?! Again, this isn't meant to be about politics] will likely originate at the grass-roots level and move through the system slowly, experts say."
• "We should balance speaking with listening," he said. "Civility is as much about listening as it is about speaking. It's acknowledging differences. Having civil dialogues is so important to expose ourselves to real, live people who have differing opinions and find out why they have differing opinions." This quote is attributed to Clark Olson, an Arizona State University communications professor who has studied civility.
• So my simple question my Friends is, "What will our influence be?" Will we show respect to those with a different opinion? Will we listen, just listen, to somebody else? Can we, will we, some how, some way, find a way communicate with each other? The experts say it will begin at the grass-roots...the choice is ours!
• I absolutely love being a Dad! Right now I have the unspeakable honor & privilege, the responsibility of guiding my 15-year old son as he makes the very difficult transition from boy to man [that hurt to type!]. This week we were talking about the need to think critically but not to be critical in your thinking. To know your values, your beliefs, to listen respectfully to all and then to make decisions that you believe in your heart are the best for you. And, while doing this, recognizing and respecting others right to have their own values, beliefs and their decisions. It seems to me that somewhere along the way we got confused and began to think that everyone has to agree with what we think, believe and decide. Think about the fights, the arguments, the pain that has been caused because one person or another felt that they had to make another agree with their point of view. Who am I to tell you, or anyone else, what you should think, feel, believe or decide? I don't have the answers. I can simply testify to what I have found to be true in my life. Life is hard and we are all trying to figure this out, to do the best we can. I believe [please feel free to disagree! :)] that one of the first duties and responsibilities of critically thinking is to value each person, to respect each person as well as their right and responsibility to be themselves. What is right for me does not have to be right for you and I have found that the true joy and beauty of life is found in interacting with those from different backgrounds, with different experiences, thoughts, ideas, etc. Please, thoughtfully consider thinking critically - staying true to your values & beliefs and using your intelligence & common sense - without being critical.
• Continuing to read "Wooden on Leadership" by John Wooden and Steve Jamison this morning. Read this and just had to share it with you. While these are rules for a basketball team, I think you will find that they would be great rules, uh, sorry Coach, normal expectations, for life.
• "My overall description of those lists as they pertained to players came under the general heading "Normal Expectations." In other words, I did not consider the rules a hardship or particularly unusual."

1. Be a gentleman [lady] at all times.
2. Be a team player always.
3. Be on time whenever time is involved.
4. Be a good student in all subjects - not just basketball [your job].
5. Be enthusiastic, industrious, dependable, loyal and cooperative.
6. Be in the best possible condition--physically, mentally and morally [powerful!].
7. Earn the right to be proud and confident.
8. Keep emotions under control without losing fight or aggressiveness.
9. Work constantly to improve without becoming satisfied.
10. Acquire peace of mind by becoming the best that you are capable of becoming.

Coach Wooden then has a gap and then lists the following [by the way, "never" is measurable! Think about it...you never do it or you do]:

1. Never criticize, nag or razz a teammate.
2. Never miss or be late for any class or appointment.
3. Never be selfish, jealous, envious or egotistical.
4. Never expect favors.
5. Never waste time.
6. Never alibi or make excuses.
7. Never require repeated criticism for the same mistake.
8. Never lose faith or patience.
9. Never grandstand, loaf, sulk or boast.
10. Never have a reason to be sorry afterwards.

I would like to tell you that I am sorry for this being so long however that wouldn't be pure-hearted. The heart was full this morning and I just had to share with you. I hope something in all of this will speak to you on this incredible day.

Please don't ever hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I am honestly happy and willing to serve you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your family & friends.

Kev

Things To Make You Say "Hmmm"

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day and a great week of celebration, time with family & friends...continuing on!!! What a blessed week it has been for the Haslam family! I sincerely hope it has been for you and yours as well!

In the late 80's and early 90's there was "The Arsenio Hall" talk show. One of the things Arsenio would do is a segment he called "Things that make you go hmmm?" He would then offer some thought or quip for the viewer to ponder. This morning I want to share with you some things I have read, heard, etc. over the past week...things to make you say, "Hmmm."

• My 15-year old son now has his drivers permit! (How is this possible? He was just born yesterday! As I look over at him in the drivers seat I keep seeing him in his car seat! Augh!!) As he was driving down the I-10 into Phoenix earlier this week (Gulp!) he looked over his shoulder before changing lanes (Yes!) saw a car flying up in the lane he wanted to get into (uh, uh, uh), turned on his blinker (right thing to do, is the time right?) and as he moved over into the lane said, "sorry." (pray, pray, pray...whew, no crash!) I then said all of the fatherly stuff; you can't do that, driving a car is a serious responsibility, etc. A few miles later he asked, "Dad, am I a good driver?" Without hesitation the words were spoken from my mouth (note, I fully recognize these words did not come from me...thank you Lord for leading my precious family through me!), "You are a very good driver. Your skill is not the problem. The problem is your attitude sometimes." We all kind of got that look on our faces like a dog does when it whimpers and turns it's head to the side...you know the look I am talking about. Then the weight of the statement hit like a ton of bricks. Isn't this often true of all aspects of our lives? Our skill or level of ability is not the problem...the problem is our attitude sometimes. Hmmm...
• Every morning when I leave my family I usually (key word!) say, "do your best, be your own person and bless a life today." Last week, for some reason, when I left one day I said, "do your best and be your own person today." I made it about 3 steps before I heard the sweet voice of my 6-year old (Preacher) son call out, "don't forget to bless a life today Daddy." Wow! Yes my Little Tender Warrior, we must never forget to look for ways and opportunities to bless a life. Hmmm...
• I have been reading Wooden on Leadership by John Wooden and Steve Jamison for the past couple of weeks. I want to share a couple of things from this great book with you.
• In the Preface Steve Jamison writes:
• Having worked with Coach Wooden for many years on several books and projects, I hear this question: "What's his secret? How did he do it - 10 national championships (a record), including seven in a row (a record); 88 consecutive victories (a record); 38 straight tournament playoff wins (a record); four perfect seasons (a record) with only one losing year - his first - in 41 years of coaching? How did he do it? How did he set all those records?" Here is the answer: Coach Wooden taught good habits. That's it-that's the answer. Hmmm...
• Just read these two nuggets this morning:
• If your word is nothing, you're not much better. Hmmm...
• YOU ARE YOUR WORD When you say you'll do it, do it. Don't give your word unless you intend to keep it. A leader whose promise means something is trusted. Trust counts for everything in leadership. Hmmm...
• You should defend those who cannot help themselves. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice. - Proverbs 31: 8 - 9 Hmmm...
• If you can find a truly good wife, she is worth more than precious gems! Her husband can trust her, and she will richly satisfy his needs. She will not hinder him, but help him all her life. - Proverbs 31: 10 - 11 I am one blessed man! Hmmm...

Finally Friends, as we get ready to embark on a new year, I want to encourage you to resolve to do one thing this year; please be the best uniquely you that you can be! There truly is greatness and goodness within you. There are great things to be accomplished through you and these things will only be accomplished, you will only reach your full potential and you will only truly accomplish the goals, dreams and desires of your heart if you are the unique you that you were created to become!

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family.

Have a great day and I wish you all a very healthy, prosperous & Happy New Year!

Kevin

The Greatest Gift You Can Give

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day and a truly great week coming to a close for you. Only 2 days (3 days counting today...you HAVE to always clarify this when you have a 6-year old in the house!) until Christmas Day...so hard to believe!

I want to encourage (translation = beg, plead, implore!) you to give the absolute greatest gift you can give to others for Christmas this year. It is one-of-a-kind...no one else will give this gift, I guarantee it. It is perfect, literally - fearfully and wonderfully made...I have a great Book that tells me this is true. This gift is quite unique in that it has a specific purpose(s) that can only be fulfilled by this gift...no other gift in all the world can do what this gift can do. Each and every one of us has enough money to give this gift...it is not limited by class, standing or circumstance. This gift, when given, will bring more joy, hope, peace and inspiration to others than any amount of money, any toy, any piece of jewelry or clothing. Please, this Christmas, give the greatest gift you can give...YOU!

Now, first let me say this...STOP IT! Please stop thinking about the mistakes, failures, faults, etc. in your life. I am not talking about who you wish you were, what you wish you were; I am talking about the pure, true, authentic, unique, fearfully and wonderfully made you! That, YOU, is incredibly special...indescribably so! Yes, I know that you have made mistakes, you have had failing moments, you have faults - trust me I know...I have a longer list than most to prove it (no comments please!). The you that you are is made in the very image of God, by Him, for a specific purpose that only you can fulfill. Why in the world do we want to change...perfection? Who ever told you that you were not good enough? That you had to be something different? That you had to look a certain way? That you had to act a certain way? That you...? According to the book of Truth and the Creator of the universe - the One whose Son's birthday we are celebrating by the way! - says that whoever that person was lied.

And please don't give it the old, "I'll try." We aren't talking about the type of commitment that the chicken makes to the breakfast here Friends, we are talking about the type of commitment that the pig makes to the breakfast - all in! See we get all caught up in the being right, being perfect, when I do this or that then I'll give them me, etc. What a bunch of junk we tell ourselves! "You" includes the mistakes, the failing moments, the faults. We hold ourselves to impossible standards - and then by our actions do the same to others - when in fact the mistakes, failing moments and the faults are part of what makes us so special. It is at those times - the times we try like crazy to avoid - that we have the biggest platforms to share with others. It is at those times we get to teach love, mercy, grace, forgiveness, accountability, responsibility, repentance, etc. Please no more, "I'll try." Just do and be you!

So you are thinking, "I've made too many mistakes, this person or that person would never forgive me or accept me, it's too late"...Well first of all, again, the book of Truth tells me that none of these statements are true. And I will tell you this, if you have the honor & privilege of being called husband, wife, dad or mom...those who call you by these names want you more than anything else in this world! Sure, jewelry, clothes, toys, electronic devices, etc. are nice however they are nothing - absolutely nothing! - compared to the true, pure, authentic, fearfully and wonderfully made YOU! Sadly some try to use these things to fill the void created by the absence of the greatest gift of all - YOU! Please, don't be one of those people! Please, this Christmas, give them you! I promise you that you will never regret it and those precious souls who call you husband, wife, dad or mom will shine and grow in ways that you could have never hoped, dreamed or imagined.

I want to share two quotes with you and let them speak to your heart however they will:

• "Remember that you are unique. If that is not fulfilled, then something wonderful has been lost." - Martha Graham
• "But I, being poor, have only my dreams. I have spread my dreams under your feet; tread softly, because you tread on my dreams." - William Butler Yeats
• Most - pretty sure I could say all - children, by definition are poor. Don't see 1 - 16 or 17-year old rich people walking around! Think about it....

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you and/or your families. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please give the greatest gift you can give and Merry Christmas!

Kev