A Shift...

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day on this beautiful Saturday morning! On the Texas Gulf Coast there is not a cloud in the sky, the sun seems unusually bright this morning, there is a slight cool in the air as we head to the upper 80's today and hey, it's the first round of the Texas High School Baseball Playoffs...doesn't get much better! :)

This week I took a quick business trip to Arizona. I was on the first flight out on Tuesday morning. As my flight was coming in o Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport I looked out the window with a great view of the rush hour traffic. I started laughing out loud. When I lived there I used to think the Phoenix Metro rush hour traffic was the worst...then I moved to the Houston area!!!

Have you ever been to or driven through Houston? If so, you know what I am talking about!!! The really, really big problem with Houston traffic - other than the perpetual construction, the people who think they are in some kind of race, people who don't realize the pedal just to the left of the gas works also, etc. - is there is not a "rush hour." I have seen traffic bumper to bumper, barely crawling along at all hours of the day & night. I have left for events an hour early and shown up 30 minutes late and I have left for events an hour and a half early and show up 45 minutes early. Yes, when I lived in Arizona, I just knew that the Phoenix traffic was the worst ever. Now that I live in the Houston area I know, KNOW!, that the Houston traffic is the worst traffic ever (as I gently nod & wink at my friends in the Los Angeles area)! :)

When Googling the word "perspective," I find the following definition:

- A particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view

This is exactly what I am talking about, feeling. When I lived in Phoenix I had an attitude about the traffic, thought it was the worst ever, because this is all I got to see. Thanks to my fine friends in Texas, they showed me another point of view.

I am a post-it note kinda guy. I have post-it notes all around my office. Scriptures. Quotes. Thoughts. Things I want to remember. One in particular really challenges my Spirit and I find my eyes locking in on it at least once a week. It says:

"Remember, there is always another perspective."

When I wrote it I took the time to draw a little smiley face. It's as though my Spirit knew what a challenge this is, would be and wanted to offer me a little encouragement. :)

I have thought about and pondered perspective a lot since Tuesday morning...most times smiling. Please stop and think for a moment; how many problems in our lives are caused by our perspective and the perspective of the other person or group of people we are having an issue/problem/challenge with? Let me use my three Tender Warriors, who I absolutely love & adore, and I as an example. When I communicate with them I am sharing the perspective of a 48-year old man whose parents were divorced when he was a junior in high school, who did not have a close relationship with his father, who played football, basketball & baseball as a kid, who played college football, has two degrees, married his High School Sweetheart, has had a career in college athletics & development/fundraising, etc. AND, all the experiences, challenges, successes, that go along with each. Them? They are sharing their perspectives. The perspective of a 10, 16 & 20-year old, respectively. Do you see the train wreck coming? I however propose, hopefully offering you another perspective :), that it doesn't have to be that way. You see, the train wreck happens when I believe that my perspective is the right perspective and I am not willing to learn, or even listen to, another perspective. Ironically, from my perspective, I am right. And guess what? From my sons' perspective, they are right. If we each dig our heels in the sand, unwilling to  try to understand or listen to the other perspective, we stay at polar opposites. I am mindful that I just captured in one sentence, much of what is going on in our world today. The thing is, that is not the kind of relationship I want to have with my Beautiful Bride, sons, friends, co-workers or anyone for that matter. I have had times when I dug my heels in the sand, I know the outcome, I know how I felt and I don't like it. I have also had times when I simply valued the other person, sought to understand them and I know those outcomes - even if I didn't share their view, I know how I felt and I absolutely love it!

Bouncing around in my head is the fact that it is not that we have a perspective that is the problem but rather what we do with that perspective. If you are living & breathing, you have a perspective and so do I. The word that then comes to mind is "judge" or "judging." Googling this word gives me the following definition:

- form an opinion or conclusion about.

And there it is! From my view (perspective) I form an opinion, or draw a conclusion about (judge) traffic in Phoenix or Houston versus everywhere else. The fighting begins when I then judge (form an opinion) about you because you don't share my perspective. You are an idiot, dumb, lame (those are the nicer terms we hear) because you don't agree with me. I don't know whether I should laugh or cry at this point...

So my challenge for each of us is this, "Remember, there is always another perspective." Let us seek to understand others, to value them & their opinions and above all else, fight for our relationships and not in them.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebelcom.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

You're Alright Kid

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day on this beautiful Saturday morning.

This Happy Friday might be something I have written about before, I honestly do not recall. It is something that has bothered me, that speaks to my heart, every time I hear the song, Who Will Love Me For Me by JJ Heller. I want to share the lyrics of the song with you and then share some thoughts. Here are the lyrics to the song:

He cries in the corner where nobody sees

He's the kid with the story no one would believe

He prays every night, "Dear God won't you please...

Could you send someone here who will love me?"

Who will love me for me

Not for what I have done or what I will become

Who will love me for me

'Cause nobody has shown me what love

What love really means

Her office is shrinking a little each day

She's the woman whose husband has run away

She'll go to the gym after working today

Maybe if she was thinner

Then he would've stayed

And she says...

Who will love me for me?

Not for what I have done or what I will become

Who will love me for me?

'Cause nobody has shown me what love, what love really means

He's waiting to die as he sits all alone

He's a man in a cell who regrets what he's done

He utters a cry from the depths of his soul

"Oh Lord, forgive me, I want to go home"

Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside

And it said

"I know you've murdered and I know you've lied

I have watched you suffer all of your life

And now that you'll listen, I'll tell you that I..."

I will love you for you

Not for what you have done or what you will become

I will love you for you

I will give you the love

The love that you never knew

Here also is a link to the song on YouTube if you would like to go listen to it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWKkdgyJ_NI

I think this song speaks so strongly to my heart because I can identify with the little kid crying in the corner, simply wanting to be loved for who they are, not for what they have done or what they will become...just loved because they are who they are.

It is interesting, the next two stanzas, chorus' or whatever you call 'em, are all linked back to that little kid. A boy, stuck at being a boy because no one apparently loved him enough to help him become a man, leaves his wife for someone or something else...because no one has shown him what love really means. And then sadly, the girl punishes herself mentally & physically, believing that if she were thinner then the boy would have stayed...because no one has shown her what love really means. And then finally we come to a boy sitting in a cell who has committed murder & lied. Was it because he was seeking approval? Was it because he couldn't control his emotions? Regardless of the specific cause, the fruit, I would argue that the root is...because no one has shown him what love really means. 

Isn't this really what we all want? To be loved for who we are? Not the things we have done, will do or could be...just loved because we are who we are? If we are honest, I believe the answer is a resounding YESSSSSS!!!

So let's get a not so pretty fact out of the way right off the bat; it is nearly impossible, if not so, for any one human being to have complete unconditional love for every other human being walking the face of the earth. For those highly spiritual folks that will take exception with my statement I will simply say, it is the Holy Spirit that convicts, not I. The only perfect love I am aware of is God's love for us. In pursuing God every day, allowing the Holy Spirit to move in & through us He will lead, guide & direct us to love others as He loves us. It is a battle, a great battle, that we will have to choose to fight for - for God, for the love of God - ever singly day of our lives. The battle will not end until the moment we breathe our final breath. So if we are seeking a person to show us complete, unconditional love - what love really means, we will spend our lives as the little kid crying in the corner, never growing to become the men & women that God created us to become. If however we will stop the running, fighting, arguing, challenging, chasing, etc. we will live the last 6 lines of this song... 

And now that you'll listen, I'll tell you that I...

I will love you for you

Not for what you have done or what you will become

I will love you for you

I will give you the love

The love that you never knew

That right there my Friends is what we call Truth!

I want to share a couple of thoughts with y'all here at the end:

1. You're alright kid! In fact, the Bible tells me that you are fearfully & wonderfully made, created in God's own image... doesn't get much better than that! It further tells me that God has a plan for your life, a great purpose, for which you are perfectly equipped, lacking nothing. This doesn't mean you are not growing & changing, that you are sitting right where you are now. It is really the difference between the conviction of the Holy Spirit - the drive to become all you were created to become through the love of Jesus Christ and the condemnation of satan/the world - the shame, the inadequacies, the pointing out of faults & failures. Do you see the difference? Oh how I pray we all understand this truth! Please don't tear yourself down, believe the lies of this world. Please choose to let your Creator define you, not those who want to recreate you. 

2. Please be very mindful of your words & actions...the power within them is immense! It is true that loving everyone unconditionally is extremely difficult, however this doesn't mean we don't strive to accomplish it. There will be days of success and there will be days of failure...the beautiful part is that each day represents a new opportunity to start all over again, to choose. If we can all keep in mind what we greatly desire - to be loved for who we are, not for what we have done or what we will become - perhaps we will have a little more compassion & empathy when dealing with others. We all want the same thing. We do not, cannot, control the words & actions of others, only our own. We choose. Every day.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You may contact me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Perfect Peace

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful new Friday is dawning!

My heart is so full this morning, I am truly so blessed! Yesterday my oldest Tender Warrior, Payton, turned 20. I returned from a business trip yesterday evening in time to go out to a truly wonderful family dinner on the Texas Gulf and to top it all off, Jake Arrieta threw a no hitter for the Cubs last night! :)

This Happy Friday is going to be a testimony, pure & simple.

If you have talked to me in the past 4+ years you undoubtedly know that I desire to be back in college athletics. It is my hope, goal & dream to one day be an athletics director again, to serve the student-athletes and coaches that those in intercollegiate athletics administration are privileged to serve. This is my greatest desire and I truly believe, my calling.

Earlier this week I was offered an incredible opportunity. It was at a school in a Power 5 Conference (for those of you who don't know or understand college athletics, this is a big deal), it was the job title I wanted with an increase in pay from what I currently make and the school was willing to pay all of my families moving expenses. It appeared to be everything I have been hoping & praying for... I did not take the job. Now I would like to share a testimony with you.

Kath and I had talked through all of the details of the job. In our last phone call on Tuesday night I asked her if she thought I should go ahead and call the person who would be my boss and tell him we were accepting the position...that is the direction we were heading. She said, "no, why don't you sleep on it and call him in the morning." I agreed and went to sleep, knowing I was finally going to be back in college athletics.

A little before 4:00 a.m. on Wednesday morning I woke up with a very unsettled Spirit. I didn't know what it was that was causing it or why. I prayed. I talked to God. I looked up scripture. As I was talking to God, asking him what it was, what was causing this uneasiness, I knew - I don't know if I heard it, felt it or what it was - that I was not supposed to take this job and then...there was a deep, perfect peace that fell over me. I wanted to argue. I said, "God, what about my dream to get back into athletics?" and I heard, "Trust Me." I then said, "What about all the traveling I have to do now? This opportunity would fix that problem." and I heard, "Trust Me." This went on and on with about 5, 6, 7 things. Each time I heard, "Trust Me." Finally, I said, "Lord, I don't know why I am not going to accept this job. There are so many unanswered questions but I am just going to trust you." Perfect peace...

I then fell back to sleep for a little while. Shortly before 6:00 a.m. I called my Beautiful Bride, the Precious Spirit who knew we were getting back into college athletics when we hung up the night before. I told her I did not know why however I was absolutely certain that this position, as perfect as it is, was not right for our family. I then shared with her everything that had happened. She then told me that she too had woken up around 3:30 a.m. with a troubled Spirit. She had prayed and talked to God. She said she had thought about texting me to see if I was awake, just as I had with her. God was speaking to both of us and we both had a perfect peace with our decision, as illogical as it may seem.

I had two more calls I had, or felt I had, to make. The first was to my best friend, and truly my greatest earthly spiritual advisor. He knew nothing about this potential opportunity...we had told only 1 person outside our family - a man I value greatly & deeply respect whose in college athletics. I told my friend I was not calling him to make a decision for me, I simply wanted to share with him what had been happening in the Haslam's life over the past 3 - 4 weeks and let him speak to me however he felt led by the Spirit to do so. He listened intently. He asked a few questions. He then told me he loved me and he is very proud of me.

I prayed for the conversation with the man who would have been my boss. I asked God to prepare my heart and his, to be in the conversation we would have. He had gone to great lengths for my family and I, he had done everything he could do to make the position right and yet we weren't going to take it. I called him and told him that I would not be taking the position. I told him I couldn't give him a reason why because I honestly don't know the specific reason, I just know that my Spirit is telling me no. I thanked him for all he had done for our family, for the opportunity he was affording us...how humbled & privileged we truly felt. And God showed up in a huge way. The entire conversation became a huge testimony about faith & family. He then said something I will never forget..."I hope I have the courage to make that decision some day." It was surreal. It was almost as though God was showing him that it is o.k. to make that decision through what He was doing with me. And again, there was a perfect peace.

There are a couple of thoughts/reflections I would like to share with you about all of this:
1. The decision was mine to make. What I mean by that is I could not, should not, put it off on Kathy, my family, my friends, etc. I think, no, I know, I have done that in the past. Doing this provides me the opportunity to come back and second-guess, pick at it, etc. This is not what God has called me to do or be. He spoke to me through the Holy Spirit and the decision to follow or not was mine and mine alone. Kathy certainly affirmed it however whether she did or didn't, it would not have changed what my Spirit was telling me and thus, it would not have changed the decision.

2. I honestly don't know why this was not right, I am just 100% certain it was not. And I am completely fine, great actually, with that. I don't know if or how I will ever get back into college athletics. I don't know how some of the other issues/challenges I face will ever be solved. I simply know that God is in control and I have chosen to trust Him, completely.

There are many, many people who have hoped & prayed for my dream of being back in college athletics...and I am very grateful. This decision doesn't mean I won't be, or that I will for that matter, it simply means that in this particular situation it was not right. While you might not understand why - I don't either! - I truly hope you will know, on a daily basis, the perfect peace that comes from following God's leading in your life.

In closing I want to share a quote from Joyce Meyer that I read on Tuesday as I flew to Arkansas (in retrospect, I think God was preparing my heart):

"God gives us understanding on many issues, but we do not have to understand everything to walk with the Lord and in obedience to His will. There are times when God leaves huge question marks as tools in our lives to stretch our faith. Unanswered questions crucify the flesh life. It is difficult for human beings to give up reasoning and simply trust God, but once the process is accomplished, the mind enters a place of rest."

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can contact me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev