Who Is It?

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this email finds you all having a great day on this absolutely beautiful Saturday morning.

A couple of things on my heart I want to share with you this morning:

1. So yesterday my Beautiful Bride and I celebrated our 27th wedding anniversary. We have known each other since she was 15 and I was 16-years old and together, KNK, since she was 16 and I was 17-years old. It is overwhelming to think of how richly God has blessed my life with her, how richly He has blessed our life together and how grateful I am, to the depths of my soul, for each and every one of these blessings.

You know, life is funny. When we were dating and then married at a very young age, I thought I had all the answers, that I had it all figured out. I was so clueless!!! I had no idea the incredible responsibility that came with the honor & privilege of being a husband...this must be why God gave me the sweetest, gentlest, kindest spirit I have ever met to be my girl. She intentionally overlooked by numerous faults & failures and instead continued to shine her bright light on the greatness she saw in me. Over time she & God helped me understand, and then inspired me, to strive for this greatness. It has not been a smooth, flat highway...think zig zagging through a cornfield on a 35% grade - that is what my path looks like.

In our life together we have experienced great highs and debilitating lows. We have experienced the great joy of welcoming 3 beautiful babies into this world and the great sorrow of losing one before it entered it. We have been blessed by having so many incredible friends come into our lives, people that we are privileged to do life with to this day, and we have been hurt by some folks whose intentions were less than pure. We have had the privilege of serving coaches, student-athletes, people from all walks of life - to encourage, empower & equip them to be the very best they are capable of becoming. We have celebrated their successes with them and shared in the sorrows. We have been blessed to swim together in the Pacific, Atlantic & Gulf Coast oceans, to be in most every small college football stadium in the Western United States, to be in some pretty big one's too - Sun Devil Stadium, Sanford Stadium at the University of Georgia (a childhood dream of mine fulfilled) and the Metrodome in Minneapolis (the sight of one of my greatest professional disappointments - we lost the game, and missed out on the playoffs, by 16 seconds). We were together when we said our last goodbye's to my Mom & Dad. We have lived in New Mexico, Nebraska, Arizona, Kansas, Illinois & Texas. There are great friends, great memories, in each place.

The thing is, we have always been together. I once heard it said about the great former basketball coach at the University of Arizona (as a Sun Devil that was painful to type!), Lute Olson that when his wife Bobbi was with him he was completely different - calm, relaxed, confident. I totally get that! When Kathy is with me, no matter the situation or circumstance, everything is going to be just fine. And while I am talking mostly of physical presence here, as we have gotten older we both recognize the mental, emotional, spiritual connection as well. When we are on the same page, we can handle anything...with God's help. Still, 3 of the greatest feelings in the world are, 1) her soft kiss on my cheek and feeling her breath on my face as I fall asleep, 2) her gently touching the inside of my arm as we are walking through a store and 3) her sliding her hand into mine as we walk anywhere.

People often say "you guys are so lucky. You are perfect for each other." I would say yes & no. I do truly believe that God gave us to one another. If I truly believe this then I must also believe that he didn't bring us together to tear us apart. In that sense, yes, we are perfect for each other. The no part however is the part where folks assume that we just found each other and life was great...not even a fraction of that misguided belief is true. There have been many intentional decisions on both our parts to stop fighting against each other and to fight for each other...and there has been a lot of fighting! :) When we were young, and I was stupid, I would say something like, "well maybe we should just get divorced." It wasn't until God enlightened me to how stupid that comment was for me to make, until I realized the great damage it was doing every time I made it and until I made the determination in my heart and then verbalized it to Kathy that I didn't care what happened in this life, I was not going to stop fighting for her, our marriage and our family until I breathe my last breath that things really started to change. She can be mad at me, not like me, I don't care. I will not stop fighting for her, for our marriage, our family! I won't! She may not be perfect to you however God entrusted me with her! I am, one day, going to have to stand before Him and give an account for how I loved her. I am not perfect, or even close. And I don't think God or Kath expect me to be. I can honestly say that I do seek God every day, I pray every day that He will lead me, that He will lead my Beautiful Bride through me and then I strive every day to do the very best I can. It doesn't just happen, it is an intentional choice, and a profound commitment.

As always is the case when I think & talk about this beautiful woman, I got all fired up and lost in the moment. Sorry, this isn't even what this Happy Friday was going to be about! I say all this to say:

Happy Anniversary Kathy! I love, value, cherish & adore you. You bless my life so richly and I am so very grateful for you!

2. Earlier this week I saw a simple little quote that struck me profoundly:

 

"Every day you have the opportunity to encourage someone." - Unknown

Isn't that so simple? Isn't it so true? Every day you and I are going to encounter someone that we can encourage. They might be in our own home, they might be in the store or we might pass them on the street. The thing is, the opportunity IS going to be there. The only thing we have to decide is if we will take the opportunity. Clearly, this is my hope & challenge for us today - whoever they are, wherever they are, WHEN we are given the opportunity to encourage another today we will take it.

Please don't hesitate to contact me at any time if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Purpose

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day on this beautiful Sunday morning!

Last weekend the Haslam family went to watch "Race" which is a movie about Jesse Owens, the incredible human being who was also a remarkable Olympic athlete. A couple of things:

1. Remember last week when I asked what makes people do things like Dr. Sidney C. Walker and Mother Teresa? How come some people, no matter the situation, circumstances, norms, etc., follow the convictions of their hearts, to do what is right, no matter the consequences? Have you, or had you, ever heard of Luz Long? I hadn't. Let me tell you about Luz Long through an excerpt taken from "Jesse Owens and Luz Long - Olympic Heroes (1936)" which I found on sportsfeelgoodstories.com.

The following day, Owens was nearly out of the long jump competition after qualifying began. He fouled on his first two jumps. One of the jumps was a practice run, but officials counted it as an attempt. With just one jump remaining, Luz Long, a German long jumper who was Owens' toughest competition, introduced himself. Long had the blond hair, blue-eyed look that Hitler so favored, yet Long didn't buy into the "master race" propaganda that Hitler espoused. He offered a suggestion to Owens. To play it safe, make your mark several inches before the takeoff board and jump from there. Owens used the advice and qualified on his last jump.

 

Later that afternoon, Long's fifth jump matched Owens' 25-10 in the finals. But Owens won the gold medal with a final jump of 26-5 1/2 on his last jump. The first to congratulate Owens was Long.

 

"It took a lot of courage for him to befriend me in front of Hitler," Owens said. "You can melt down all the medals and cups I have and they wouldn't be a plating on the 24-karat friendship I felt for Luz Long at that moment. Hitler must have gone crazy watching us embrace. The sad part of the story is I never saw Long again. He was killed in World War II."

Another example of a great human being doing what is right, following the personal convictions of his heart & spirit, regardless the personal cost. I pray Friends that you and I too will have the strength & courage to follow our convictions.

2. I had no idea about the absolute ridiculous pressures Jesse Owens faced as he prepared for the Olympics. Yes, I knew about racism and competing in front of Hitler. I did not know about the poverty, hopes of a family, the pressure from different organizations to not compete, etc. As I was watching all of this unfold, and a man who just wanted to pursue his dream of running, I kept thinking, "what is going to be the moment? Where is the clarity going to come from?" The moment finally came in a conversation Jesse had with his wife. He was torn and struggling with all these different things. Should he go to the Olympics? What are the ramifications of going? What are the ramifications of not going? He wakes up his wife and begins talking to her. She tells him she can not tell him what to do. He shares his thoughts with her. She then says something to the effect of, "Stop thinking, that is not what you are good at. Running is what you are good at." I am sorry, I am not getting the quote exactly right however you get the point. She was not judging Jesse's intelligence as he was quite clearly a very intelligent man. No, what she was talking about was his purpose, what he had been created to do. With this insight, inspiration, Jesse went out and pursued his purpose with amazing results.

Now you might be thinking, "Kevin, all he did was run. How can that be fulfilling his purpose?" Let me ask you this, what more could Jesse Owens have done to make a powerful statement to not only Hitler, but in fact to the entire world? He could have talked & talked & talked and he wouldn't have had a fraction of the impact. In being and doing who he was and what he was created to do to the very best of his ability he preached a sermon which reverberates to this very day. You see, it is you and I that try to attach significance to different purposes. In reality, God uses every purpose, no matter what it is, to accomplish great things. If only we will be obedient to our calling, our purpose.

This is my heart, my appeal, to all of us today - that we would pursue our God-given purpose to the very best of our ability every day of our lives. Let us not get caught up in the noise, the distractions of this life but rather pursue, in great faith and hope, the talents, gifts & abilities that God has given us and then let Him do the rest.

I want to share with you what Derek Carr, the Quarterback for the Oakland Raiders, shared on Facebook:

"To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift." Stay grounded in working hard to steward what He HAS given you, instead of working hard to earn what He WILL give you. You've already received the gift. Giving your best every day is how you honor the gift He's given you.

And finally, I would like to share a scripture with you:

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith." - Hebrews 12: 1 - 2 (my emphasis)

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, enjoy the rest of your weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

My Take & A Little More

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day as a beautiful new day gets ready to dawn!

This week I would like to share my perspective on the QB for the Carolina Panthers, Cam Newton, and a little more...

During this past, MVP, season Cam has been questioned & ridiculed about the way he acts while playing football. Since the Panthers Super Bowl loss, he has been questioned & ridiculed about how he acted during his post-game press conference. Here is what I see:

1. I fell in love with the way Cam Newton plays the game of football when he was at Auburn. Gehrig, my now 16-year old son, and I were watching the game. Cam ran the ball and got tackled - I don't remember where they were on the field, how long the run was, etc. As the camera zoomed in on Cam all you could see was this huge smile on his face. Cam was playing the game of football with joy.

When I watch Cam play, "dab," act silly with his teammates, I see a person doing what they are doing with great joy. And I don't get what all the angst is about. I might be wrong here or maybe I just haven't seen it much, however I don't see him getting up in an opponents face, trying to humiliate an opponent, etc. No, I see him simply playing with joy. In fact, I have seen opponents try to get in his face, not let him have a football so he can give it to a little kid after a touchdown and Cam's reaction? He ignores them, as if they do not exist.

What I see with Cam is what I want my boys, and my Beautiful Bride & I, to do in our lives - to love passionately what we do,  to do what we do with great joy and not put others down in an attempt to elevate ourselves. I don't understand how or why this is offensive to some however I am not going to be cynical or judgmental, to try to guess why. I am simply grateful for the example and will humbly respect everyone's right to have their opinion.

2. Since the Super Bowl Cam has received a great deal of criticism for the way he conducted himself during the post-game press conference. He didn't yell, scream, cuss, cry, shift blame, etc. He was quiet, sullen and didn't talk real long.

How many of us have had a microphone put in our face about 10 minutes after suffering our greatest professional disappointment? I know I haven't. I don't know how I would act, what I would say or do.

The thing that strikes me is what do we want our athletes - or any person who we stick a microphone in front of after a great disappointment - to do? What do we want them to say? How do we want them to act? Here is a great thought for us; maybe it isn't about me & you...the viewer/listener. Did Cam act the way I wanted him to act? Say what I wanted him to say? Do what I wanted him to do? I don't know because I honestly don't know how I wanted him to act, what I wanted him to say or what I wanted him to do. My heart was filled with compassion - as a former student-athlete & coach understanding the tremendous amount of work, effort & sacrifice that goes into a football season, and the profound disappointment that comes with a loss, let alone the Super Bowl. My expectations were not based on me, they were formed out of care and concern for another human being who just happens to be a phenomenal athlete.

Perhaps this is the problem, we want to make everything about us, individually, when in reality the value in life is not found in serving ourselves but others. How different would things be if we appreciated someone playing a game - think about those last 3 words - with great joy instead of taking it, somehow, as an attack on our self-worth? How different would things be if instead of expecting everyone to live up to our expectations, we tried to understand - respect & genuinely care about - how another person is doing? I think things might be a little different...

Along the same lines, the Monday after the Super Bowl, some of my colleagues and I were talking about the Super Bowl, pre-game, commercials, etc. One of my colleagues, who does not like Tom Brady - full disclosure here, I DO like Tom Brady, was reveling in the fact that the Broncos fans in attendance at the Super Bowl booed Tom Brady when all of the former Super Bowl MVP's were announced. She said, "That's what happens when you are a cheater." After thinking for a few moments, I calmly said, "Perhaps it is more a reflection of the Broncos fans than it is of Tom Brady."

It is so easy to criticize, be offended, tell someone else what they should say, think or do, etc. The higher road, much more difficult and far less traveled, is to be compassionate, to seek to understand instead of to be understood and to realize that everything doesn't have to be, isn't, about you & me, individually. This is the road I pray we will take. Oh, I fail at it far more often than I would like to admit however right now it is only 4:38 a.m. and I haven't goofed it up yet today! :)

Here is a little more...

Have you ever heard of Dr. Sidney C. Walker? I hadn't either. A week ago I had the privilege of meeting his daughter. She handed me a book titled, "The Good Doctor," written by one of his former patients and containing several testimonies from other former patients. Let me give you the quick breakdown - Dr. Walker graduated from medical school in the late 1920's (sorry, I can't remember the specific year). In 1940 he opened up a clinic in Hempstead, TX. At Dr. Walker's clinic there were no appointments - it was first come, first served. You were seen by Dr. Walker in the order you arrived at his office. He did not care who you were, or your skin color. This was not how things were typically done at that time. To put things in perspective for you, according to the book, the last recorded lynching in the state of Texas occurred in 1947...7 years after Dr. Walker opened his clinic.

It is so powerful, and emotional, to read testimony after testimony of people who Dr. Walker served. The woman who was getting a physical before going to college and Dr. Walker told her the fee was to get her degree. The woman who pleaded with Dr. Walker to go to the police station and make the officers stop beating her son - after taking the woman home, he did and then bandaged the man's wounds. The stories go on and on - of a man who saw a person, not a color. A man who would do anything for anyone. The period speaks volumes.

What makes a man, any person, do the things that Dr. Walker did? To listen to the inner convictions as opposed to the societal norms? I asked his daughter why he was the way he was and she said she did not know. What makes a Mother Teresa go to Calcutta and serve the indigent? What makes people do these things?

As I have thought about this several times over the course of the past week I have come to this conclusion; I think we all have, or have the capacity to have, these convictions. It is just that some of us answer the call of conviction and others bury those convictions and answer the call of society, of fear, or whatever. My hope and prayer for us Friends is that we will not muffle those convictions. That we will have eyes to see the needs, hearts to care, faith to act, and the courage to do these things day after day.

I want to end with a great quote that I came across this week:

"You can find Calcutta anywhere in the world. You only need two eyes to see. Everywhere in the world there are people that are not loved, people that are not wanted or desired, people that no one will help, people that are pushed away or forgotten. And this is the greatest poverty." - Mother Teresa

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev