Speaking from the Heart

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day on this absolutely beautiful Friday morning.

Today I just want to share a couple of thoughts from the heart and let them speak to your heart however they may.

1. Whoever you, wherever you are and whatever you are facing on this Friday morning I want you to know that your life has great value, great meaning & great purpose. You are not a mistake, you are not worthless & you are not a failure. There is no doubt that you have made mistakes and that you have had failing moments - every person walking the face of this earth has! - however your mistakes and failing moments do not define you. Please do not live a life of condemnation...live a life of conviction. Mistakes and failing moments are points on a compass to lead, guide and direct us to fulfill our purpose...we learn from them, we are not defined by them. Please speak life breathing truth into your own spirit, even if you don't feel it right now. Please tell yourself that you are valuable, that there is meaning to your life & that there is a great purpose for your life. Say it as many times as you have to, over and over again every day and then Friend, one day, you will find yourself believing it. Your beliefs dictate your actions and your actions, day after day, will determine your destiny. Oh my Friends, the journey is in fact long and hard, however I believe to the depths of my soul in God and I believe that He does not make mistakes. Please seek to live to the fullest of who you were created to become, letting go of the mistakes, failures, regrets, etc. You are so valuable, so precious and there is so much greatness & goodness in you!

Now, I have no illusions that I am going to state the above and your life is instantly going to change forever. For some the words above will speak to their heart, to their soul and it will be the little jolt they needed on this Friday morning to get back to where they need to be on this journey. For others, perhaps it is you, they are much further off the track, they have been fed and have believed lies. Please seek the counsel of a Pastor, a Godly Friend, etc. You see, just like your life has a purpose, this is theirs. They can help you, God will use them in your life to help you. Please Friend, if this is you, seek help. This is not a sign of weakness; it is actually a sign of great strength.

2. Please choose carefully the words you speak. The words we speak are little seeds that when received into the heart of the listener take root and grow. Over time these seeds grow in our hearts, in our souls and become how we perceive our selves, what value we place on our lives, etc. Sometimes these words are life giving seeds that are used to launch the person receiving the message to become all they were created to become. If you don't believe me, simply tell someone in a pure-hearted manner "I believe in you" and watch their reaction...it is amazing. Sadly, sometimes words are life taking seeds that prevent the person being spoken to from every becoming what they were created to become. Their heart literally becomes a field choked out by weeds.

Yesterday, after my 13-year olds baseball game, my 13-year old, 16-year old and I were walking along the sidewalk to our car. Suddenly I hear this man behind me say, "Get out of the street you idiot!" I visibly jerked around to look at him...it was involuntary. My heart was truly repulsed at what I had just heard. I looked at the boy, 7 or 8-years old, who he was talking to. My heart broke for him. I wondered, does he know he is not an idiot? Does he know that his life has value, meaning & purpose? Will he let these words sneak into the depths of his soul, to speak to his heart? Does the Dad have any idea the great damage that he can do with the words he is speaking? Clearly he cares about the boy - he doesn't want him to be in the street because he doesn't want him to get hurt - however I seriously question whether or not he understands the power of his words. No, I don't question. It is really clear that he doesn't understand the power of his words or he would not have called his son an idiot. Do you want to be called an idiot? Do you want to be told you are a failure? Do you want to be told that your life will never amount to anything? Do you want to be told you are worthless? Me either. Please choose carefully the words you speak Friends, they are so powerful.

3. Finally, I want to ask you, "What will your influence be in the lives of those you come into contact with today?" All of them? Every person you have an interaction with today you are going to influence them in that moment. Is it going to be positive, life giving or is it going to be negative, life taking? I hope and pray that we will all choose positive, life giving. We might make only a small impact in the big picture of life however never doubt that you are having an impact.

Did you ever hear the story about the scrawny little kid who was walking home from school with a bunch of books in his hands? Some kids were mean to him - they determined their influence - and knocked all of his books out of his hands. A little girl saw this happen and went over and helped him pick up his books - she determined her influence as well. It was only years later at high school graduation when the scrawny kid was giving a speech at graduation that they all learned the impact of that day. You see, he was carrying all of his books home because he planned to kill himself that day. Not wanting his Mom to have to clean out his locker, he was taking all of his books home. This little girl who helped him however changed his perspective about everything. Because she simply stopped and helped him pick up his books he decided not to kill himself that day. Friends, we have no clue about the journey of another. You can never guess the impact of a smile, a wave, a kind word or a helping hand. Maybe you will never know what the ultimate impact of your positive influence was and that is o.k. The only thing we control is how we choose to act in that moment. What will your influence be...?

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Coach

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day on this beautiful Friday morning. Additionally, I sincerely hope you have had a great week and that you have chosen happiness - something that comes from the heart and not from circumstances - each and every day.

"When a businessman dies he leaves money. When a coach dies he leaves a little bit of himself [herself] with every kid he [she] has ever coached." - Lee Corso

This week I was shocked, then angered and finally saddened to see the videotape of the way the Head Men's Basketball Coach at Rutgers treated his players. Before going any further however I want to make it explicitly clear that this message is not intended to be a condemnation of Mike Rice. Do I believe he should have been relieved of his duties? Yes. Do I feel compassion for he and his family? Yes. Have I, will I, pray for he and his family? Yes. Have I, will I, pray for the players who were under his direction? Yes. Have I, will I, pray for the Rutgers community, for all of those affected by this situation? Yes.

No, the point of this message is for all coaches; every person from the Little League Coach to the Major League Baseball Manager who has the honor, the privilege of being called "Coach." Please make no mistake about it - it is an honor and a privilege. As a coach, your words, your actions, your attitude - everything about you speaks into the lives of the people who call you "Coach." The great thing about sports is it so closely mirrors life. Within sport there is success & there is failure; there is the opportunity to go for it, to step outside your comfort zone and pursue the greatness that is within you or to slink back, never finding the outer limits of your abilities and therefore insuring that you will never become the best you are capable of becoming; there is the opportunity to do the right thing, to be disciplined, to follow the rules or there is the opportunity to find the loopholes, to lie, to cheat; there is the opportunity to be humble, to be confident in your abilities, to celebrate the success of your team, of your teammates, to lift up and encourage, to help others pursue their greatness and yes, there is the opportunity to be arrogant, demeaning, jealous. There are countless opportunities in sport that mirrors life and the person on any team that sets the direction, teaches the players how to handle these situations in the games, and therefore life, is the person with the honor and privilege of being called "Coach."

My question, my challenge to all coaches is what will your influence be in the lives of the people who you have the privilege of coaching? Let me be very direct and explicitly clear - you are influencing their lives! From you players will learn how to prepare, how to handle stress, how to react when things don't go well, how to react when things go great...the list goes on and on. A coach gets frustrated at a player, yells and screams at him/her, grabs him/her, pushes them around...what is the influence? What have you taught them to do when they get frustrated with their son or daughter coach? What will your influence be? Will you be intentional about your influence? Will you recognize that you have incredible influence in the lives of those who you are privileged to coach and that the impact of your influence has the potential to reverberate for generations? Will you determine prior to the heat of the moment that your influence will be a positive one? We know that once we are in the game, in the heat of the moment, it is too late to prepare. That's why we practice, right coach? It is no different with our influence. We must prepare our hearts and our minds before the game, the heat of the moment. Just as we set goals for our teams in the arenas of competition, we must set goals for our influence. Will we always do what is right even when it is not comfortable? Will we have, and walk out every day, character and integrity above reproach? Will we treat all people with dignity and respect? Will we do the very best we can each and every day of our lives? How will we define ourselves and our player? There are many, many more things to determine...What will your influence be?

I feel compelled to also share this with you; when I was coaching I once had one of my assistant coaches come to me and he said, "I am struggling. I am having a hard time determining when to love them and when to discipline them." I explained to my assistant that there is not a time for love and a time for discipline - you discipline them because you love them. If you are disciplining without love you are in a very, very bad place and what you are doing is not called leadership. Please think about that Coach. And, most importantly, if you don't have genuine love for those who you have been given the honor and privilege of coaching please think of doing something else other than coaching. There is no shame, there is no dishonor in walking away from coaching however there can be great shame, great dishonor and you can do irreparable damage to those you coach if you don't love them.

Yes, it is true, coaches do leave a little bit of themselves with every single person they have ever coached. Be it positive or negative there is going to be a little piece of every coach left with every person who was under their leadership. Some of those pieces will be hurdles to overcome and some of those pieces will be launching pads to the greatness that lies within each person. The only thing that is yet to be determined is what the coaches influence will be.

I have two final thoughts in wrapping this up as I realize that there are a lot of folks who will read this who aren't coaches.

1. Please feel free to share this with any coaches you know, at any level. It does apply to all.

2. Our society gets real caught up in titles...we love them. Whoever you are, wherever you are, please go back and put your title in any time you see the word "Coach." Dad, Mom, Husband, Wife, Boss...they all apply.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

This Day

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you having a great day on this beautiful, beautiful Friday morning! It is Good Friday, a day of great love, sacrifice (ever notice how sacrifice & love are always connected?!?!), hope, mercy, grace...Yes indeed Friends, this is a great day!

Earlier this week I was wallking back from my morning workout - a time I use to listen to and talk to God. I had poured out my heart to Him - sharing my thoughts, my worries, my fears, my hopes, my dreams, intenionally laying my cares & burdens at His feet and desparately fighting with myself to leave them there. There is a lot of "stuff" going on in my life right now - when isn't there?!?! - and I was talking with God about when there would be closure on some of this "stuff" and most importantly from my perspective, would things work out the way I hope. Suddenly my Spirit spoke strongly to me; "You have this day."

You have this day...That might not be a profound thought to you however for me, at that moment, it was a very profound thought. I can't do anything about yesterday and I don't know if I will have tomorrow. The only thing I know, right now in this moment, is I have this day. I can choose to do whatever I want with this day. There is great hope, great opportunity in this day. My past failures don't matter today because, well, they are in the past. I don't need to worry about tomorrow because I don't even know if I will have tomorrow. I do know however that I have this day, this moment, to be fully alive, to be fully present and to grow to become all that God has created and called me to become today.

Today I choose to pursue and serve the Lord, to submit my life to Him fully. Today I choose to love, protect, honor, respect & guide my Beautiful Bride. Today I choose to love, protect, honor, respect & guide my Tender Warriors . Today I choose to do the very best I can in everything I do. Today I will look at all of my friends (please don't forget last weeks message...everyone is a friend) with love, compassion, mery & grace - I will serve them where I can. Today I will live fully in each and every moment - not letting the thiefs of thoughts of the past or worries of the future steal my joy. Today I will be fully alive because the Lord has blessed me with this day.

If you are reading this message guess what? You were given this day! You have tons of choices to make. Please thoughtfully consider them. Please guard your hearts. There is so much hope, opportunity and promise in this day...we simply have to choose to seaze it.

I would like to end with a scripture and a quote:

"Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you." - I Peter 5:7

"Nothing is easier than saying words;

Nothing is harder than living them day after day.

What you decide today and commit to today,

You must redecide and recommit to tomorrow and each day that stretches out before you."

Arthur Gordon

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families. Happy Easter Friends!

Kev