The Impact of One Life

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! :)

Last Saturday I shared a post on Facebook that said:

LOVE YOU Mama

What I'd give, If I could say "Hello Mama" in the same old way. To hear her voice and see her smile, to sit with her and chat for awhile. So, if your Mother is still here, cherish her with care, for you'll never know the heartache until you see her empty chair.

Miss you Mama

Now, a little tip/hint that has nothing to do with this Happy Friday...I have found it is the voice that I cherish/miss/long for the most. The part where it says, "to hear her voice" and "to sit with her and chat for awhile"...so powerfully resonates with me. I have the last voicemail my Mom ever left me saved on my cell phone. It is unique, it is her...

So, before sharing the post I wrote something my Mom told me a thousand times and I also wrote, "Not hard to figure out why I am the way I am." You see, most of you never met my Mom however in knowing her son, or reading his posts, you are being impacted by her. I thought back to all the players I was privileged to coach, all the people I have worked with, all of the people I have had the privilege to stand before and give a message, all the people I have been honored and privileged to have in my life...they were all impacted by my Mom and the lessons she lovingly, patiently, imparted on me. She never truly knew the impact of her one life on what must surely be literally thousands, however her impact has been truly profound!

There are a few things that my Mom really stood for and believed that have a whole lot to do with the man I am today. I would like to share them with you this morning.

• 7th grade football...will never forget it. We used to do this silly thing right after we stretched. Coach would call us all together in a big group, blow his whistle and we were all supposed to find someone to hit. Well on this day, I found no one to hit. So, I found a guy already on the ground and went and stood over him. Very proud of how smart I was to handle this situation so well, I told Mom about it after practice. She looked me dead in the eye (that was one of her favorite expressions by the way - "dead in the eye") which was the first indication a great lesson was being taught and said, "Don't you ever make yourself look good at someone else's expense." Lesson learned Mom...
• I honestly don't remember the exact situation but I was 5 or 6-years old. I lied, or I should say, tried to lie. I don't remember the words she spoke however I can still see the look of utter disappointment on her face. I vowed that day that I would not lie...the cost was too great. To this day I have a deep aversion to dishonesty, mine or others. Lesson learned Mom...
• There are literally countless examples of this next one. The quote by Albert Schweitzer, "Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing." comes to mind right now. If you had a need or were in need of help, Mom was going to be there for you. If you needed money, she would give it. If you needed a hand, she would lend it. If you needed to talk, she made you feel as though she had been waiting for you to share. If someone is in need of help, we help them. Simple as that. Lesson learned Mom...
• And the quote I shared on Facebook; "Put a smile on your face, a bounce in your step, and you make this a great day!" Which day? This one! Whichever day it is, it is this one! There is no reason, situation, or circumstance that can or should prevent us from putting a bounce in our step, a smile on our face, and from doing everything we can to make this a great day. I have had her sweet voice of affirmation ringing in my ears on days I was sad, fearful, lost, hurt, etc. and, the boy who so deeply cherished his Mom, gave everything he had to put a smile on his face, a bounce in his step, and he did everything he could do to make it a great day. Throughout my life so many people have said things like, "You are always so positive" or "You are always so encouraging." And on so many of those day, on so many occasions, what they were really commenting on was me striving to walk out what my Mom encouraged me to do. Lesson learned Mom...

These four main lessons - never make yourself look good at someone else's expense; be honest; if you can help someone, do it; put a smile on your face, a bounce in your step, and you make this a great day! - have greatly shaped the man I am and the life I live. It all started with a beautiful woman who very lovingly poured into her son every day of her life. And that one beautiful life has impacted so many other lives through the son who deeply loved, valued, cherished, and adored his Mom. It is beautiful, it is profound, and the exact same applies to me and you! The lessons we are teaching our sons and daughters, our friends and co-workers, will reach to a time and place, to people, we will never personally meet. The importance however is immeasurable. Never doubt the impact of one life.

I also feel compelled to share another key point here. My Mom used to often talk about how she felt so inadequate as a Mom. It sounded crazy to me then, still does now. As a Dad however, I totally get it. Have you ever been there? Don't forget that honesty part up above! :) The reality is, most of us feel inadequate at one point or another...that is the reality of our feelings however our feelings are not truth! The truth is, you are perfect for your son or daughter, your husband or your wife. As Dabo Swinney once said, "God doesn't say 'oops'." While you might feel inadequate, you are not. You are learning, growing, and becoming all you were created to become...just like your son, daughter, husband, or wife. Keep showing up, every day! Give the very best you have to that day! You are enough! You are the perfect Mom, Dad, Husband, or Wife for that person! And while you may feel that the things you are saying and doing are not making a difference, I want to share a little story that will hopefully encourage you.

My Mom used to read The Daily Bread - a Bible devotional - to me every morning...like, literally, every morning. :) Through Junior High and High School, I hardly ever listened - I have no idea how I got away with being so disrespectful. Perhaps she was teaching me mercy! :) I might be doing something else and her voice - that one I so desperately miss now - was nothing more than noise in the background. But she never gave up. She kept reading to me every day. Today? The son rarely starts a day without reading his Bible and he and his wife read a devotional every morning together. A coincidence? Hardly! It is the fruit of the tree from the seeds that the Mom planted over and over, though the ground seemed dry and barren. What we do matters...every day!

Please, Sweet Friends, never doubt or minimize the impact of one life! You matter and the life you live matters! You are perfect for the life you have been called to live! Let's live like it, intentionally, every day! :)

There is also three tools I want to put in your toolbox this morning. They are sayings I came across this week.

"Marriage is hard.

Divorce is hard.

Choose your hard.

Obesity is hard.

Being fit is hard.

Choose your hard.

Being in debt is hard.

Being financially disciplined is hard.

Choose your hard.

Communication is hard.

Not communicating is hard.

Choose your hard.

Life will never be easy. It will always be hard.

But we can choose our hard." - Unknown

"Your day doesn't have to be perfect to have meaning.

Showing up matters.

Giving matters.

Trying matters.

Loving matters.

Being there matters.

Perfection doesn't matter. 

You matter." - Rachel Marie Martin

HOW I STAY IN PEACE

- I trust God more and depend on myself less

- I stay in my lane and do what is mine to do

- I live in my present day, not in the past or in the future

- I cast my cares upon God, choose joy, and let God do what I cannot

~ Unknown

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well!

Kev

Put Away The Flashlight

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you having a great day as a glorious new opportunity - full of hope, opportunity, and promise! - begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! :) This day is going to be a great one!

This morning I simply want to remind us all of a couple of things that have been on my heart this week.

Do you have struggles, challenges, concerns, worries, cares, and/or concerns? Do you have good things happening in your life, opportunities, blessings, things that bring you great joy, things that you are excited about, things that make your heart happy, and/or things that you are looking forward to? I am certain you do, we all do. Which one's? Both!!! So the question is, what each one of us has to determine, which one's will we focus on? Please remember, what we focus on grows!

Nobody's life is "perfect." Nobody is "perfect." What is "perfect" anyways? Isn't perfection really our perception of something? You can't really define it, can you? What one person may consider the perfect life, the perfect job or the perfect situation, another person may find boring, filled with challenges, or far less than anything they ever imagined. Perhaps what you and I consider to be a challenge, problem, or struggle, someone else would consider an opportunity, a blessing, something to be strived for. What are we focusing on?

My first reminder for us this week is to focus on our blessings, to have a heart of gratitude. Let's look for the greatness and goodness in the lives we live, the people that we are blessed to have in our lives, and in our situations. Yes, we will deal with our struggles, problems, and challenges however we will not allow them to define us and we will not allow them to grow greater in our hearts and minds than our opportunities and blessings. We won't ignore our realities however we will choose to see the good, to be grateful. Please remember Sweet Friends, what we focus on grows. Let's grow the things we have to be grateful for and, in the gardens of our hearts and minds, let's weed out the problems, challenges, and struggles. :)

I was having a conversation with a friend this week. We were talking about how there can be a tendency for us to see someone make a mistake, have a flaw, and then we want to highlight it, draw attention to it. And then she said something that I will always remember; she said, "put the flashlight away." In that moment I had the perfect picture in my mind of myself holding a flashlight, trying to really highlight this small error that had been made and, in doing so, totally missing all the other greatness surrounding it. We all make mistakes, have flaws, and error. Do we want everyone coming up really close with their little flashlights, really trying to highlight it? Of course not! Lets put away the flashlights.

Now, to be clear, I am not saying we ignore mistakes, flaws, or errors. Wisdom says we will fix the things we are in authority and capable of fixing. That however does not mean we need to make it bigger than it is and we certainly don't need to make sure everyone else knows about it. The only one's that have any need to know are those who are directly impacted by it and/or have the ability to fix it. Simple as that! We don't need to make sure that our friends, neighbors, and co-workers know about it. Put away the flashlight!

I really want to encourage us this morning to put away the flashlight and bring out...the spotlight! What do I mean? John C. Maxwell often talks about putting a "10" on everyone's head...look for the greatness in them, to treat them as if they are great. Let's look for and shine the light on the greatness and goodness that is in each one of us. Let's look for, and believe in, the good! What do we tend to do? We meet someone and we are immediately sizing them up. We pull out our little flashlights and start looking for the flaws. Please stop! Let's approach everyone we meet and interact with today as they are a 10. Let's talk to them like they are a 10 and, rather than trying to find the flaws and imperfections - they are easy to see...we ALL have a bunch of them!- let's  look for the greatness and goodness.

I want to camp out here for just a moment.

1. You know what I have found in putting a 10 on people's heads? More often than not, I have ended up doing a whole lot of encouraging, helping them see the greatness and goodness that is within them. You see, our society does such a great job of shining flashlights that a whole lot of people believe that they are worthless, hopelessly broken, and useless...it is tragic. NOBODY is worthless, broken beyond repair or useless. Just as we all have flaws and imperfections, we all have great strengths and abilities. When you start believing in and looking for the greatness and goodness in others, you will see it, and perhaps, you will have the honor and privilege of helping them see it in themselves. Two thoughts/quotes come to mind:

a. Hurting people hurt people. This explains, to a large extent, why we run around with our little flashlights. I have been told so many times all the flaws and imperfections I have, my spirit is broken, so I pull out my little flashlight and I look for yours...somehow thinking that if I can make your flaws and imperfections bigger than mine, I will feel better about myself.

b. "When we treat man as he is we make him worse than he is. When we treat him as if he already was what he potentially could be, we make him what he should be." - Goethe 

My heart here is to encourage you and me to stop - please stop! - fighting for our flaws and imperfections! Yes, they are there...they are a part of what makes us so beautiful! They are a part of us however they do not define us! God has a plan and purpose for each one of our lives! There is greatness and goodness, their is great potential, in each one of us! Every life has great value, meaning, and purpose! If however we are so busy fighting for our flaws and imperfections, we will never walk in the fullness of all we were created to become.

Please, Friends, lets put away the flashlights (looking for the mistakes, errors, flaws, and imperfections in others) and let's bring out the spotlight (putting a 10 on everyone's head, looking for the greatness and goodness in them, and encouraging them to become all they are capable of becoming). Please never forget that what we focus on grows - literally and most importantly, in our hearts and minds. Let's live grateful lives, with grateful hearts, minds, and spirits, and let's encourage, empower, and equip others! 

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well! :)

Kev 

What Is Your Message?

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day on this absolutely glorious Good Friday in my Sweet Home Alabama! :)

"Your life is your message to the world. Make it inspiring." - Lorrin L. Lee

I saw this quote this week and it hit me in a profound way. I had seen the quote before and it had never hit my spirit the way it did this week. It was convicting, inspiring, challenging...

I am challenged to determine, and I challenge you to determine, what our message is to this world. It is not solely in the words we speak and it is certainly not in our intentions! No, our message is found in the lives we live, day after day, not just on the "good" days. While we can "want" to be this or that, or perhaps we "hope" our message is [fill in the blank] the reality is you and I are preaching a message every day. And, it is the consistency of that message, the consistency of the lives we live, that prove it's authenticity.

So, what is our message?

Is it a message of faith or fear?

Is it a message of hope or despair?

Are we intentional with our message or do we leave it to circumstances and our fickle feelings?

Is it encouraging or discouraging?

Does our message lift up others or does it tear them down?

Is our message one of integrity? Do the words we speak line up with our actions?

Is our message authentic or are we impostors? Are we being who and what we were created to be or are we chasing what others tell us we should be?

What is our message?

Look, nobody can tell anybody what their message should be. As was once said, "we all gotta do our own living and we all gotta do our own dying." My hope this morning is not to tell you what your message should be, of how to live your life. My only hope is for an awakening of our spirits...our life IS preaching a message. Whether we choose to make it inspiring or not, whether we choose to do the hard work of pursuing all that we have been created to become or not, is 100% up to each one of us, individually. You will choose, I will choose, and we will all live with the consequences of those decisions!

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful Easter weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well! :)

Kev