Perfect Peace

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful new Friday is dawning!

My heart is so full this morning, I am truly so blessed! Yesterday my oldest Tender Warrior, Payton, turned 20. I returned from a business trip yesterday evening in time to go out to a truly wonderful family dinner on the Texas Gulf and to top it all off, Jake Arrieta threw a no hitter for the Cubs last night! :)

This Happy Friday is going to be a testimony, pure & simple.

If you have talked to me in the past 4+ years you undoubtedly know that I desire to be back in college athletics. It is my hope, goal & dream to one day be an athletics director again, to serve the student-athletes and coaches that those in intercollegiate athletics administration are privileged to serve. This is my greatest desire and I truly believe, my calling.

Earlier this week I was offered an incredible opportunity. It was at a school in a Power 5 Conference (for those of you who don't know or understand college athletics, this is a big deal), it was the job title I wanted with an increase in pay from what I currently make and the school was willing to pay all of my families moving expenses. It appeared to be everything I have been hoping & praying for... I did not take the job. Now I would like to share a testimony with you.

Kath and I had talked through all of the details of the job. In our last phone call on Tuesday night I asked her if she thought I should go ahead and call the person who would be my boss and tell him we were accepting the position...that is the direction we were heading. She said, "no, why don't you sleep on it and call him in the morning." I agreed and went to sleep, knowing I was finally going to be back in college athletics.

A little before 4:00 a.m. on Wednesday morning I woke up with a very unsettled Spirit. I didn't know what it was that was causing it or why. I prayed. I talked to God. I looked up scripture. As I was talking to God, asking him what it was, what was causing this uneasiness, I knew - I don't know if I heard it, felt it or what it was - that I was not supposed to take this job and then...there was a deep, perfect peace that fell over me. I wanted to argue. I said, "God, what about my dream to get back into athletics?" and I heard, "Trust Me." I then said, "What about all the traveling I have to do now? This opportunity would fix that problem." and I heard, "Trust Me." This went on and on with about 5, 6, 7 things. Each time I heard, "Trust Me." Finally, I said, "Lord, I don't know why I am not going to accept this job. There are so many unanswered questions but I am just going to trust you." Perfect peace...

I then fell back to sleep for a little while. Shortly before 6:00 a.m. I called my Beautiful Bride, the Precious Spirit who knew we were getting back into college athletics when we hung up the night before. I told her I did not know why however I was absolutely certain that this position, as perfect as it is, was not right for our family. I then shared with her everything that had happened. She then told me that she too had woken up around 3:30 a.m. with a troubled Spirit. She had prayed and talked to God. She said she had thought about texting me to see if I was awake, just as I had with her. God was speaking to both of us and we both had a perfect peace with our decision, as illogical as it may seem.

I had two more calls I had, or felt I had, to make. The first was to my best friend, and truly my greatest earthly spiritual advisor. He knew nothing about this potential opportunity...we had told only 1 person outside our family - a man I value greatly & deeply respect whose in college athletics. I told my friend I was not calling him to make a decision for me, I simply wanted to share with him what had been happening in the Haslam's life over the past 3 - 4 weeks and let him speak to me however he felt led by the Spirit to do so. He listened intently. He asked a few questions. He then told me he loved me and he is very proud of me.

I prayed for the conversation with the man who would have been my boss. I asked God to prepare my heart and his, to be in the conversation we would have. He had gone to great lengths for my family and I, he had done everything he could do to make the position right and yet we weren't going to take it. I called him and told him that I would not be taking the position. I told him I couldn't give him a reason why because I honestly don't know the specific reason, I just know that my Spirit is telling me no. I thanked him for all he had done for our family, for the opportunity he was affording us...how humbled & privileged we truly felt. And God showed up in a huge way. The entire conversation became a huge testimony about faith & family. He then said something I will never forget..."I hope I have the courage to make that decision some day." It was surreal. It was almost as though God was showing him that it is o.k. to make that decision through what He was doing with me. And again, there was a perfect peace.

There are a couple of thoughts/reflections I would like to share with you about all of this:
1. The decision was mine to make. What I mean by that is I could not, should not, put it off on Kathy, my family, my friends, etc. I think, no, I know, I have done that in the past. Doing this provides me the opportunity to come back and second-guess, pick at it, etc. This is not what God has called me to do or be. He spoke to me through the Holy Spirit and the decision to follow or not was mine and mine alone. Kathy certainly affirmed it however whether she did or didn't, it would not have changed what my Spirit was telling me and thus, it would not have changed the decision.

2. I honestly don't know why this was not right, I am just 100% certain it was not. And I am completely fine, great actually, with that. I don't know if or how I will ever get back into college athletics. I don't know how some of the other issues/challenges I face will ever be solved. I simply know that God is in control and I have chosen to trust Him, completely.

There are many, many people who have hoped & prayed for my dream of being back in college athletics...and I am very grateful. This decision doesn't mean I won't be, or that I will for that matter, it simply means that in this particular situation it was not right. While you might not understand why - I don't either! - I truly hope you will know, on a daily basis, the perfect peace that comes from following God's leading in your life.

In closing I want to share a quote from Joyce Meyer that I read on Tuesday as I flew to Arkansas (in retrospect, I think God was preparing my heart):

"God gives us understanding on many issues, but we do not have to understand everything to walk with the Lord and in obedience to His will. There are times when God leaves huge question marks as tools in our lives to stretch our faith. Unanswered questions crucify the flesh life. It is difficult for human beings to give up reasoning and simply trust God, but once the process is accomplished, the mind enters a place of rest."

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can contact me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Keepin It Real

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day as a beautiful Saturday morning dawns! It is going to be an incredible day for the Haslam's - Landry's soccer game this morning and a massive Crawfish Boil this afternoon & evening. As my Beautiful Bride loves to say, "Texas Livin'!"

I am going to keep this Happy Friday real. Most days I sit down to write Happy Friday my Spirit is soaring, my thoughts are clear and I know exactly the words I want to share with you. This is not the case this morning, not even close. I am o.k. with that, just keepin it real. Sometimes we don't understand things, life gets confusing and hard. I do however feel compelled to write, to share some thoughts - no matter how jumbled they may be. Please give me grace. God will take care of the rest.

This week I took a business trip to Colorado. After landing I drove to the restaurant where I had my first meeting. As I was sitting there waiting for the person I was meeting with to show up Kath called me. She was calling to let me know that a friend of ours had suddenly, unexpectedly passed away...she was 32 years old. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. All I could say over and over again was "Wow." I was stunned, shocked & my heart hurt. We weren't "best friends" however she and her husband are people that Kath & I went to church with, who we were privileged to do life with. In fact, her husband is the one who designed the logo for "What Will Your Influence Be...?"

After my meeting was over I had a text message with all of her husbands contact information. My Sweet Girl encouraged me to text him however my Spirit encouraged me to call him. The moment I heard his voice tears began to well up in my eyes. As I began to speak my voice cracked. I, the one who was calling to offer encouragement, instantly became aware of my complete inadequacy. What do you say to a man whose wife just passed away? How do you say anything that will somehow make any of it better? What do I have to offer to anyone at a moment like this? The reality is there are no words, I am completely inadequate. I simply told him I am sorry, I love him and told him I would do absolutely anything I can for him.

The nagging ache in my heart would not go away...still hasn't. I tried to type him a message 7 or 8 times Monday night however I could find no words. Kath & I talked about faith & loss. I didn't want to be away from my wife & boys...I wanted to fly right back home, wrap them in my arms and just hold them. I woke up several times throughout the night on Monday and simply prayed for Bobby and his family. I have prayed for Bobby, their precious little girl and their entire family every day, several times a day. Bobby and I have exchanged several text messages. I am mindful of my struggles, of my inadequacy however I am also mindful that this is not about me. While I may not be much or worth much at this moment, I do care and I can be there.

I would like to pause for a moment and honor this wonderful woman, Crystal. Crystal was a very pretty young lady with a Spirit that simply shined...if you ever met a person like her you know exactly what I am talking about. Crystal would see you, smile, begin talking to you and suddenly you were smiling without even knowing why. She was so vibrant, so alive and she genuinely loved and cared about everyone that crossed her path. Crystal was a Christian, she loved the Lord, she loved her husband, she loved her precious baby girl and she loved on everyone who was blessed to cross her path. It is so absolutely perfect that she is honored with the phrase, "Shine Bright." This is exactly what she did, every day. The world would be a little dimmer today with her passing except for the fact that a little piece of her bright light shines in each person she selflessly poured herself into. Today she walks on streets of gold, another beautiful angel that has successfully completed her earthly journey and now lives in Heaven for eternity. 

There are several thoughts I want to share with you:
1. Shortly after speaking with Bobby on Monday, Payton called me. I told him about Crystal, we talked about she & Bobby, what special people they are, how horrible we felt, etc. I then told him about my phone call to Bobby, how I felt so inadequate. God then spoke to Payton through me as I said, "Please remember son, it is not about you. It is about the person that is hurting. It doesn't matter to Bobby what I said, it simply matters that I called." I hope my son learns this lesson, that he will be there for others, regardless of how he feels.

2. Guess what? Sometimes we are completely inadequate and that is o.k. I think sometimes we get so caught up in having to have the right answers, being able to say the right things, etc., that when we don't have them we do nothing. Well sometimes there are no right answers or words to say. Sometimes we don't understand things, they hurt, etc. Regardless, we can always care and we can always be there. Let us not miss the opportunity to keep it real and be there for others!

3. I am not going to lie...I don't understand this at all. I don't understand why a 32-year old woman is suddenly called Home. It makes no sense to me at all and my heart breaks for Bobby and their baby girl. I do know this though, I believe to the depths of my soul that God is in control and that He will lead, guide & comfort us though all seems so very dark at the moment. In so many ways this is the epitome of faith...being completely blind/unsure however trusting fully in God.

4. I want to ask you a favor - please love on those you are privileged to do life with and let them know how much you value & appreciate them. In one of his texts to me Bobby said, "I was thinking about influence yesterday and I realized just how many peoples lives that Crystal had an effect on. I was blown away." How come we wait until someone is gone before we communicate how much they mean to us? What would this world look like if we would pause, just for a moment, and let another person know how much we appreciate them, the things they say & do? We are all busy, we are all striving...for something. Let's encourage one another on a daily basis. We don't hesitate to tell someone when we think they have done something wrong or offended us. What if we flipped the whole equation? What if we were quicker with the praise and slower with the criticism? I am pretty sure our world would look a whole lot different.

5. Finally, I would like to respectfully ask you to say a prayer for Bobby, their daughter and their family. It doesn't matter if you don't know them, God does. Thank you.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

It's An Honor To Be A Dad

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day on this beautiful Friday morning!

My heart is so full this morning. I am blessed beyond measure and I am completely aware of this fact. This morning I am going to briefly share something that happened in my life two weeks  ago and then I am going to share a couple of short stories, a quote and the link to a music video. The simple point I want to drive home  this morning is that it truly  is an honor to be a Dad.

Two weeks ago tomorrow my 10-year old Tender Warrior, Landry, and I went to the Houston Rodeo - just he and I. We got to the rodeo and walked through all of the exhibits. Right away we bought him a cowboy hat and then, a little later, one for me too so we could have matching cowboy hats.  I let him decide where we would go, what we would look at, how long we would stay, etc. He petted and fed hay to the cows that were a part of the livestock show - the look on his face was priceless as one licked his arm, its entire tongue wrapping around his arm.

For lunch he had a sausage on a stick and I had a barbeque sandwich. We stood and talked about the rodeo, what else we wanted to do, etc. as we ate. We shared a sweet tea, enjoyed our conversation, neither of us in a hurry.

We were then off to the rodeo. We had great seats and thoroughly enjoyed each event. We cheered for all the cowboys & cowgirls and gasped as one cowboy was nearly kicked in the head by a horse. Mutton Bustin' (little boys & girls riding on the backs of sheep) brought great laughs.

After the rodeo it was Cole Swindell live in concert. We sang - thankfully it was so loud nobody could hear our voices! - and cheered for Cole. He gained two new fans that night.

After the concert we headed back to the exhibit hall so Landry could make his own rope. It was really neat how they did it - he got to choose the three strands and then he & I stood some distance apart spinning the wheels they had to intertwine the strands to form the rope.

By the time we left we had been at the rodeo for nearly 10 hours. Neither one of us felt tired. We talked and talked all the way home, replaying the events of the day together. He must of told me 100 times that night, as well as the next day, how much he enjoyed our time at the rodeo, how grateful he truly was for our time together. I told him I felt the same. The thing that struck me, over & over again, was that he always said, "I enjoyed my time with you." It was the time that he valued & treasured, not the hat, the food, the rope, etc. It was the time. I was keenly aware of the words he was speaking into the deep recesses of my heart and I felt the profound honor of being his Dad.

Dads matter...greatly! Somewhere along the line it sadly became ok, and even funny, to minimize the impact a Dad can have in the life of a child. Many men, perhaps fearing failure, never even try to embrace this sacred privilege. I think a large part of it is really a defense mechanism - if we have no expectations, there can be no disappointments, or so the reasoning goes. This however does not change a few simple facts:
1. It is an honor to be a Dad.
2. Dad's are critically important in the lives of their children.
3. Whether "good" or "bad," Dad's have a profound impact on the lives of their children.

I want to share two short stories, one quote and the link to a video of a song. Please humor me - read the short stories, the quote and go watch the YouTube video.

Charles Francis Adams, the 19th century political figure and diplomat, kept a diary. One day he entered: "Went fishing with my son today--a day wasted." His son, Brook Adams, also kept a diary, which is still in existence. On that same day, Brook Adams made this entry: "Went fishing with my father--the most wonderful day of my life!" The father thought he was wasting his time while fishing with his son, but his son saw it as an investment of time. The only way to tell the difference between wasting and investing is to know one's ultimate purpose in life and to judge accordingly.

Silas Shotwell, in Homemade, September, 1987

 

There's a Spanish story of a father and son who had become estranged. The son ran away, and the father set off to find him. He searched for months to no avail. Finally, in a last desperate effort to find him, the father put an ad in a Madrid newspaper. The ad read: Dear Paco, meet me in front of this newspaper office at noon on Saturday. All is forgiven. I love you. Your Father. On Saturday 800 Pacos showed up, looking for forgiveness and love from their fathers.

Bits & Pieces, October 15, 1992, p. 13.

 

"My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me." - Jim Valvano

And here is the link to the video, You Should Be Here, by Cole Swindell  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8WlCqZPTeg

You see Friends, it is about presence. If you have the honor of being a Dad know this, your kids want you.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always help you any way I can. You can contact me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev